Can you see how beautiful this scarf is? I am SO very proud of it!!
it is silky, colorful and handmade, but NOT by me. So why am I proud?
well, it is a gift, a previous client and now friend of mine gave it to me
as a Thank You for attending her birth. I was so incredibly touched to
think that she sat down and knitted this wonderful scarf with me in mind.
This scarf was actually finished the night before she went into labor and
gave birth to her little baby boy.
In my last post I was feeling really down, actually I feel like that
more often then not these days. There are so many days when I
feel nothing but sorry for myself and my situation........but then I get
a gift like this! I mean can you imagine? There would have been nights
when I was lying on my couch feeling left behind and alone, while at
the same time someone was carefully knitting me a warm snuggly
scarf. A scarf she hopes I think of as a "hug" from her and her baby
when I wear it. How unbelievably thoughtful is that? It just really
shows me that even on the days we feel most beaten down, most
broken, most alone, there are people out there that care about
us, that love us, and want us to be happy.
This was the first time since the birth that I had seen her and her baby.
I couldn't help but think of how lucky this baby is, a baby born to former
IFer's, parents who waited for him, parents who will never take their
role as parents for granted. Needless to say he is very loved, and
hopefully one day I can look at my babies and feel the same way.
Our meeting today not only reminded me to feel thankful, but
it filled me again with hope. I know there is a reason I am on this path,
although I am unsure of what this reason may be. Maybe it's so I too
never take my role as parent for granted. Maybe it's to better
understand my clients that have gone down this path. Maybe it's to
form strong relationships with the others who walk this road. I'm really
not sure what it is, but I am 100% sure that god would not put me on
this path to suffer, We are not meant to live a life of misery.
We are meant to be happy, to live, and to learn. There is something
we are meant to find on this path, something that will allow us to look
back and be grateful. I hope I learn what this is sooner rather then
later, but in the meantime I am going to try and be grateful for what I
have, for people who are thinking of me even when I don't know it,
for the people I have connected with here in the blog world, for the
time I have alone with my husband, for all this and more, I am grateful.