A scarf to call my own!

Can you see how beautiful this scarf is? I am SO very proud of it!! 

it is silky, colorful and handmade, but NOT by me. So why am I proud? 

well, it is a gift, a previous client and now friend of mine gave it to me 

as a Thank You for attending her birth. I was so incredibly touched to 

think that she sat down and knitted this wonderful scarf with me in mind. 

This scarf was actually finished the night before she went into labor and 

gave birth to her little baby boy. 

In my last post I was feeling really down, actually I feel like that 

more often then not these days. There are so many days when I 

feel nothing but sorry for myself and my situation........but then I get 

a gift like this! I mean can you imagine? There would have been nights 

when I was lying on my couch feeling left behind and alone, while at 

the same time someone was carefully knitting me a warm snuggly 

scarf. A scarf she hopes I think of as a "hug" from her and her baby 

when I wear it. How unbelievably thoughtful is that? It just really 

shows me that even on the days we feel most beaten down, most

broken, most alone, there are people out there that care about 

us, that love us, and want us to be happy. 

This was the first time since the birth that I had seen her and her baby. 

I couldn't help but think of how lucky this baby is, a baby born to former 

IFer's, parents who waited for him, parents who will never take their 

role as parents for granted. Needless to say he is very loved, and 

hopefully one day I can look at my babies and feel the same way. 

Our meeting today not only reminded me to feel thankful, but 

it filled me again with hope. I know there is a reason I am on this path,

although I am unsure of what this reason may be. Maybe it's so I too 

never take my role as parent for granted. Maybe it's to better 

understand my clients that have gone down this path. Maybe it's to 

form strong relationships with the others who walk this road. I'm really 

not sure what it is, but I am 100% sure that god would not put me on 

this path to suffer, We are not meant to live a life of misery. 

We are meant to be happy, to live, and to learn. There is something 

we are meant to find on this path, something that will allow us to look 

back and be grateful. I hope I learn what this is sooner rather then 

later, but in the meantime I am going to try and be grateful for what I 

have, for people who are thinking of me even when I don't know it, 

for the people I have connected with here in the blog world, for the 

time I have alone with my husband, for all this and more, I am grateful.