Thursday, October 15, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving to Me!

I have not had much time to write this week, but I really wanted
to talk (or blog) about my Thanksgiving weekend, cause it was

It started off like any other long weekend, except having to be up 
every morning at 6:30am to be poked and prodded at a fertility clinic, 
definitely not a preferred holiday activity, but what can you do?

Saturday night I was off to a wedding, a big fat greek wedding!
If ever there was a place to go to feel bad about your fertility
problems, this is it. My husband and I were seated at the 
"newly married couples" table, and of course, since their weddings 
the other couples had popped out wonderfully perfect babies, 
who were also joining us at the table. If the conversation swayed
at all from the intense cuteness of  the babies, it was only to 
comment on us and our lack of children. Aunts and Uncles would 
stop by the table to wink, smile, and say "your next!" 

I could tell this was starting to get to my husband a little bit, but
I was more then shocked when he finally gave up and told a cousin 
that we were trying, and it wasn't going well. I knew right away this was 
a mistake, and I instantly began to search my brain for quick and 
easy statements to go along with the "advice" that I was sure we would
soon be getting. 

Just as I suspected, within 15min, everyone at the wedding knew 
we have been trying and the advice started coming at warp speed. 

"take a vacation"
"stop trying" 

This was of course the top three pieces of advice. I spent the 
rest of the night smiling and saying "thank you, we will try that"
It was hard, to say the least, but we made it through, and It 
actually felt better to have it all out in the open, to hear words
of encouragement rather then "what's taking you so long?"

I went straight to bed after the wedding, I needed to forget about 
the evening, I just wanted to sleep. The night, however, had bigger 
plans for me. As soon as I laid my head on the pillow my cell phone 
rang. It was my client calling to let me know she was in labor, her 
contractions were coming quick and she wanted to meet me at the 
hospital. She was not due for another week, so the call was unexpected 
but I quickly got dressed and ran out the door. 

When I arrived it was 4am on Thanksgiving day. I met my client
and her husband in triage and she was right, the contractions 
were strong and quick. From looking at her I would have guessed
that she was 6 or 7cm dilated, but when they checked her, her 
cervix was still closed (far from time to have this baby)
Fast, strong contractions in early labor normally means baby is
in a funky position, usually looking up "stargazing" as they say. 
My client decided they wanted to go home until they had 
progressed a bit more, they also sent me home to get some sleep. 
I suggested positions and comfort measures to use while they 
were back at home, ones that would ease the discomfort and 
also help the baby turn. Then I was off to "sleep".

By this time it was 6am, I had two choices....go home to sleep 
or rush to my appointment and have my diagnostic tests done
for that day (CD13) I chose to go to the testing (eating at 
Tim Hortons while I waited for the clinic to open at 7am)

So there I was, at the clinic with no sleep and a dildo cam 
searching around my lady bits. All I could think was 
"Please god, please god, let this baby turn, give this mother the 
strength she needs to get through, please bring her peace". Then
soon as the testing was done, as if it was written in the stars, 
my phone rang and It was time to meet my client at the hospital. 
They felt labor had changed and my client wanted to go to the 
hospital to see how far along she was. I knew how badly she wanted 
a natural birth,  but I also knew that if her exam showed she was still 
in early labor that an epidural would be soon to follow. My prayers 
picked up again "Please god, let her be in active labor, let this baby 
come soon"

I got to the hospital just as they arrived, it was clear that labor 
had picked up. She hugged me and moaned through a contraction, 
soon as it was done she cried "I am not handling this very well". 
I continued to rock back an forth with her until it was time for her 
exam, the nurse was very nice, gentle and excited when she felt the 
dilation. "Your 8cm dilated" she said. Of course the 3 of us broke into 
tears and I thought to myself "thank you, thank you"

A few hours passed, she rocked back and forth on her birth ball, 
allowing low moaning sounds to escape from her body. Soon she was 
dilated to 10cm and began to push her baby down. Then, just as the 
rest of Toronto, husband and in-laws included, were gathering 
around their Thanksgiving feast, a baby boy was born, birthed
naturally by his mother and supportive father. It was a beautiful 
birth and I was so SO happy for them. It was a wonderful
way to spend Thanksgiving and I TRULY felt thankful that this 
birth turned out exactly as my clients had dreamed. I left feeling like
my prayers had been answered, But as I said my goodbyes and walked 
away from the happy new family and those perfect 10 fingers and toes 
I couldn't help but think "when will it be my turn?" 


  1. Wow - I've known a whole pile of infertiles in my life, but your job is by far the hardest I have ever heard of - and you do it with such compassion, amazing, I hope your journey into infertility quickly ends in a baby.

  2. What a weekend! I hope your turn is just around the corner :-)

  3. Wow, and I am having a hard time opening a baby shower invitation! You have some strength in you to do this job. If ever there is good karma it should be coming your way!

    Just curious...why do you have to go to the RE's office every day? Do they do the same blood tests daily and just compare the differences?

  4. That was a doozie of a weekend! I hope you've been able to catch up on sleep since then.

  5. I second the karma comment! That is truly amazing that you have the strength to be there for your clients while struggling with infertility (and after such an awful day, no less!).
    I hope your turn will come very, very soon.

  6. Gosh, I was on the edge of my seat reading this beautiful post! As an IF I got anxious almost praying with you that everything turned out how they wanted!

    Gosh, you have given great graces for what you do with the heavy burden of IF you carry.

    Sorry I missed the post where you gave me an award! It's been a whirlwind since I got home! :)

  7. Tishi,
    Interesting that you have to go in from CD7. None of the clinics I've been to do daily monitoring for non-treatment cycles, maybe because it's so expensive? Not sure. I've always gone in on CD3 for a baseline to check my hormone levels and an AFC and then again for bloodwork after ovulation (supposed to be confirmed by ovulation sticks, but I always used my chart) to check progesterone levels. That's it really. I agree that it would be exhausting to go every day. I don't even think I'll be going every day when I start stimming. I think it will be every other day. Hopefully all those visits you are making will give your RE a good idea of how best to treat you.