I was feeling down (really down) and it feels so much better to
hear from people who understand. It truly meant a lot to me
to hear you all say that Karma is on my side. I believe very much
in Karmic law and try to follow the rules, but I know there
are days when I either bend them, or outright break them.
Days when I look at someone who is pregnant and think that
I deserve to be pregnant more then they do. Days where I feel
beaten down by yet another happy pregnancy announcement,
days when I curse myself or my husband and the path that has been
chosen for us. Sometimes I think with all this negativity
I send out there, its no wonder why it all comes back to me.
But then I read your comments, and I felt better, you allowed
me to believe that I do send some positive out there into the
world. Reminding me that I spend my days putting my feelings
to the side (no matter how hard it is) so that I can be present
for my clients. I do love my job, I love to see these babies come
into the world, and I really do believe I make a difference in the
start of their little lives. I have been named "Auntie Tishi" more
times then I can count and I am constantly getting pictures and
updates on their progress.
Thank you for reminding me that I am sending positive vibes into
the world and it IS coming back to me. For this, and for the comments
and help you provide for all of us bloggers, I am sending good Karma
your way. I know that if we continue to impact others in a positive way,
it will one day come back to us, I don't know how or when, but it will!
I posted this before, but, I am continuing to be in absolute awe of your job and situation.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a normal part of being infertile to see pregnant woman and think, I deserve it more - you had a random 1 night stand and I have been trying for 5 years (opps that is me comming out). But, honestly, as the years of infertility go by, being around the pregnant women - well - it got a little easier for me, and I hope it gets a little easier for you too.