ache in my back and weak legs. I know what this means, AF will be
here soon, and more then likely will be here at full force by tomorrow
afternoon. If I'm super lucky, she will be here just in time for our
appointment with the R.E! yup, at the exact same moment he tells us
us why we are not getting pregnant, I will also be experiencing the
emotional peak of AF.......thats going to be messy, for everyone
As I have said before in a few of my postings I am terrified to hear
the results of my tests, but on the other hand, it will be nice to
know what's going on, and what to do next. My hubby and I already
have a plan of action, We will listen to what he has to say, I will
take great notes (he will secretly record), and we will tell him that we
will need some time to think about things before moving on to any
treatments. My naturopath will then be sent the test results and we
will see if there is anything she can do before we move on to the more
medical side of the tracks.
My biggest fear is how the information will be relayed to me, I
worry that he will make me feel impatient, insisting that unless I act
fast, I will never be a mother. I worry he will use fear as a tactic to
move us into more aggressive (pricey) forms of treatment. In my job I
see doctors use fear as a tactic, as a way to get clients to be co-operative.
I don't want to fall into that trap, but I know that I am the perfect target,
I'm scared and I want someone, ANYONE, to make me feel safe again.
Ok, enough of that, I'm starting to panic, lets talk about something
happy! Yes, I am sad that this cycle was not "the cycle", I really felt
like I had a good chance. I would however, like to talk about some
really wonderful things that DID happen over a month of accupunture
and herbal teas:
1. Much Better Cervical Mucus (lots & lots)
2. Higher temperature spike & higher temperatures in general!
3. Longer luteal phase!! thats RIGHT, Usually I ovulate on CD17 or 18
and start spotting by CD25ish, with a full blown AF by CD27. This
month I ovulated on CD17 and did not start spotting until CD28.....
not perfect, but much better.
Thank you Laurie for showing me that there was also some good
that came out of this cycle, even if it did not lead to a baby, and
thanks for reading (I know your out there!)