Hello Cramps, why am I not surprised?

I'm feeling those familiar twinges in my belly today, the slight 

ache in my back and weak legs. I know what this means, AF will be 

here soon, and more then likely will be here at full force by tomorrow 

afternoon. If I'm super lucky, she will be here just in time for our 

appointment with the R.E! yup, at the exact same moment he tells us 

us why we are not getting pregnant, I will also be experiencing the 

emotional peak of AF.......thats going to be messy, for everyone 

involved!

As I have said before in a few of my postings I am terrified to hear

the results of my tests, but on the other hand, it will be nice to 

know what's going on, and what to do next. My hubby and I already 

have a plan of action, We will listen to what he has to say, I will 

take great notes (he will secretly record), and we will tell him that we 

will need some time to think about things before moving on to any 

treatments. My naturopath will then be sent the test results and we 

will see if there is anything she can do before we move on to the more 

medical side of the tracks. 

My biggest fear is how the information will be relayed to me, I 

worry that he will make me feel impatient, insisting that unless I act 

fast, I will never be a mother. I worry he will use fear as a tactic to 

move us into more aggressive (pricey) forms of treatment. In my job I 

see doctors use fear as a tactic, as a way to get clients to be co-operative. 

I don't want to fall into that trap, but I know that I am the perfect target, 

I'm scared and I want someone, ANYONE, to make me feel safe again. 

Ok, enough of that, I'm starting to panic,  lets talk about something 

happy! Yes, I am sad that this cycle was not "the cycle", I really felt 

like I had a good chance. I would however, like to talk about some 

really wonderful things that DID happen over a month of accupunture 

and herbal teas:

1. Much Better Cervical Mucus (lots & lots)

2. Higher temperature spike & higher temperatures in general!

3. Longer luteal phase!! thats RIGHT, Usually I ovulate on CD17 or 18 

and start spotting by CD25ish, with a full blown AF by CD27. This 

month I ovulated on CD17 and did not start spotting until CD28.....

not perfect, but much better. 

Thank you Laurie for showing me that there was also some good

that came out of this cycle, even if it did not lead to a baby, and 

thanks for reading (I know your out there!)