Monday, November 23, 2009

Hello Cramps, why am I not surprised?

I'm feeling those familiar twinges in my belly today, the slight 
ache in my back and weak legs. I know what this means, AF will be 
here soon, and more then likely will be here at full force by tomorrow 
afternoon. If I'm super lucky, she will be here just in time for our 
appointment with the R.E! yup, at the exact same moment he tells us 
us why we are not getting pregnant, I will also be experiencing the 
emotional peak of AF.......thats going to be messy, for everyone 

As I have said before in a few of my postings I am terrified to hear
the results of my tests, but on the other hand, it will be nice to 
know what's going on, and what to do next. My hubby and I already 
have a plan of action, We will listen to what he has to say, I will 
take great notes (he will secretly record), and we will tell him that we 
will need some time to think about things before moving on to any 
treatments. My naturopath will then be sent the test results and we 
will see if there is anything she can do before we move on to the more 
medical side of the tracks. 

My biggest fear is how the information will be relayed to me, I 
worry that he will make me feel impatient, insisting that unless I act 
fast, I will never be a mother. I worry he will use fear as a tactic to 
move us into more aggressive (pricey) forms of treatment. In my job I 
see doctors use fear as a tactic, as a way to get clients to be co-operative. 
I don't want to fall into that trap, but I know that I am the perfect target, 
I'm scared and I want someone, ANYONE, to make me feel safe again. 

Ok, enough of that, I'm starting to panic,  lets talk about something 
happy! Yes, I am sad that this cycle was not "the cycle", I really felt 
like I had a good chance. I would however, like to talk about some 
really wonderful things that DID happen over a month of accupunture 
and herbal teas:

1. Much Better Cervical Mucus (lots & lots)

2. Higher temperature spike & higher temperatures in general!

3. Longer luteal phase!! thats RIGHT, Usually I ovulate on CD17 or 18 
and start spotting by CD25ish, with a full blown AF by CD27. This 
month I ovulated on CD17 and did not start spotting until CD28.....
not perfect, but much better. 

Thank you Laurie for showing me that there was also some good
that came out of this cycle, even if it did not lead to a baby, and 
thanks for reading (I know your out there!)


  1. Sending goodness your way...

    Hoping for no AF and a positive HPT to follow...or good/good-ish news at the RE!

    I will be anxiously awaiting your next post.

  2. I hope you get some clear answers tomorrow. And don't let your doctor bully you! If he does that to patients then he might not be the doctor for you. You know what is best for you and fertility treatments are not to be entered into lightly. When we were seeing of former RE I could see things could go exactly how you describe them--patients being overwhelmed, scared and hopeful and just doing whatever the doctor recommended. It takes a strong person to advocate for themselves. (And I know what a strong person you are!) Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you!

  3. If he does the YOU MUST ACT NOW crap go to another fertility clinic. Seriously, I am UBER SUPER DUPER infertile and I did not get the thou must doith ivfith until i did a spectualrly bad injectible iui... just my assvice of course.

  4. I agree with Duck. One of the biggest reasons why we left our IF clinic was that our doctor pushed IVF right away because I was so old (32 at the time, not ancient at all).

    I hope that you get answers!

  5. That doom and gloom from the RE is why we'll never go back (at least to that guy). Seriously, he told us over a year ago that we needed to do IVF immediately OR ELSE. After he heard "endo" he didn't even want to hear anything else, even though all of my other test results were great and DH's were good. Jerk.
    Anyway, that's great about a longer LP! Those herbs really seem to be doing the job :). I'm sorry that this cycle didn't work out, but I'm hopeful you have a BFP right around the corner!

  6. I hope things went well with the RE! I know they can sometimes be bullying, but you have to make the right decision for you and DH. Looking forward to hearing what your plan will be with this new information and with what your naturopath says!