Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Dreaded R.E. appointment.

Well, its all over, like the quick removal of a band aid, stings at first, 
but at least it's over with. I cried only 3 times during the appointment, 
which I think is pretty good considering it felt like my whole future 
was riding on the words that were coming out of his mouth. I was 
also slightly more emotional because of my dear friend AF, so the fact 
that my tears were barely noticeable to anyone but myself is quite a 
victory, if I do say so myself. "never let them see you cry!" I like to say :)

So was this a good news kinda meeting? I guess it depends on how you 
look at it. Turns out that I might be just fine, all of my tests have come 
back normal....except for the CA125, the test that shows the possibility 
of endometriosis. That test came back high/normal, so he would like
to see me have the laproscopy, and has already scheduled a time and 
a place (at least he's efficient). I'm not really sure I am comfortable 
with this surgery, but I'm not sure why.....I think I will spend the next
2 weeks researching this surgery before I have the meeting with the 

For those of you out in the blog world that have already been in this 
situation, have you had the surgery? were there any side effects? 
regrets? do you feel the surgery was relatively non evasive and 
worth it? my R.E. said there was no chance it would cause scar but I 
have read conflicting information. 

The issue with our infertility turns out to be male factor. I have not 
read up on any of this information yet, I ran right home to write in 
my blog first (you gals are the first to know!!!). Here are the 3 reasons 
for my invisible tears:

1. Lowish sperm count 1/14 million 

2. 78% abnormal acrosome - so sperm cannot "drill" into an egg
    for fertilization

3. DNA fragmentation, 38% damaged sperm

All three of those findings put together equal a "very low chance
of conceiving naturally". R.E. believes that the sperm issues could be 
environmental so he has put hubby on Male Fertility Supplements. 
3 months from now we will check his swimmers again, if nothing 
has changed and the problem turns out to be genetic, the only 
way we will be able to have a baby is through IVF :(

So there ya go, good or bad news, depending on how you look at it, 
to be quite honest I feel better at least knowing what were up 
against. Surprisingly hubby seems to be ok with the results, he is 
happy that I can calm down a bit and get back into my normal 
routine, knowing that I'm healthy. I think he's been worried about
my sanity for the last year or so! perhaps he's putting up a brave 
front, but I'm glad he's at least keeping me optimistic for now. 

I guess that's it for my posting today, I am not happy or sad, just
kinda.....I dunno, in shock? At least I won't have to be taking 
those fertility teas for a while, that's kinda good news!! 


  1. I am having a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy in about 10 days. My HSG showed that both my tubes were blocked at the junction with the uterus. I had a laparoscopic surgery about 5 years ago for endometriosis, but i was not in a position to have children at the time, so my tubes were not evaluated. It is somewhat painful, I remember feeling like my insides were stuck together, and the CO2 they pump into your abdomen so they can see makes your shoulders and back hurt. I had the choice of going straight to IVF or having this surgery first. I'm 35, so time is ticking for me, but ultimately I thought I would feel better if I know what's going on in there. Maybe it can be fixed. I'm also having acupuncture and taking chinese herbs. Making the decision to have the surgery was hard, take some time for yourself to think about it. Wishing you the best.

  2. Sounds like your RE has a plan and is quick to get you both started. Take your time to let this all sink in, I'm sure you'll come to terms with what action to take next. I know, it stinks to even have to take any other action than making love to have a baby, but just take one day at the time.

    Big Hugs!

  3. I know it was hard, but at least you got some answers. Personally, I'm not sure I'd do the surgery. I had a laparotomy 7 years ago to remove a large mass that turned out to be an endometrioma (I had borderline/high CA-125 levels too. Those levels don't mean much in younger women anyway and aren't used much except to track progression of endo sometimes.) Any abdominal surgery can cause adhesions, which can lead to fertility problems later. It doesn't matter how "careful" the surgeon is either. Both my REs (current and former) recommended against a lap because it wouldn't have changed the fact that we'd still need IVF. They only reason either of them said they'd recommend surgery was if I was having severe symptoms. Also, your research will probably show that anytime you have surgery that involves the ovaries, and if you have endo you might well have ovarian involvement, it can cause damage to healthy ovarian tissue and lead to diminished ovarian reserve. Maybe you could wait until your DH has his recheck in 3 months. If his numbers are normal then it might be worth it. If they are still low, you might have to consider IVF anyway. Just my 2 cents. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take the proper amount of time to process all of this and then make a decision that you are comfortable with.

    Oh, and DH's blog is here http://pensivesarcasm.blogspot.com/
    He's been writing fiction for some time now (although his blog isn't fiction. LOL!) and wrote a couple of posts about our wonderful neighbors.

  4. I've had so many different procedures in the past four years of TTC that my lap (that I had in April) was definitely the most satisfying. In hindsight I wish that I had the lap at the beginning of my TTC journey. It would've saved me all of the heartache and BFNs that I've had to endure.

    If you go back into my archives of April 2009 you'll see what I went through. My second surgery that I had in August to remove all of the endo was a tough one to recover from, but at least I know that I'm disease-free.

    Maybe you should get a second opinion? Will your RE being doing the surgery? I had a wonderful doctor at St. Mike's do mine and he was great. Send me an e-mail if you're curious.

  5. Are they planning in checking for a varicocele in your husband? That can cause low counts and abnormal sperm, so I'd ask what they think at least. It's just a simple ultrasound to check - but varicoceles are very common.
    And laps CAN cause adhesions. How high is your CA125? Usually they can't tell anything by looking at the number one time - it's a marker, so they use one number and then recheck it (like when you do cancer treatments). Unless it's sky-high (like mine was when my right ovary had an 8 cm endometrioma)...and then it's a good indication. I think they consider "high" to be anything over 60 - mine was 676! They were so scared that I ended up having my surgery done by an oncologist! They already knew I had endo though, since it was my second surgery.

  6. So I am going to come out iwth a BIG opinion. Do you have signs of endometriosis? signs are severe pain with periods - what about the ultra sound scan is there endometriomas or other weirdness (doesn't sound like it). I personally have never ever had that blood test (my endo was diagnosed at 19 and was bloody obvious - severe I want to die pain and bilateral cysts). The truth is many studies show that most women will have some degree of endo if they have not been pregnant before 30 (some endometrial tissue backs up into the cavity). So what if it is endo? A laparascpy WILL give you scar tissue, and if MF is the main issue (which it is) then it does not make one little tiny itty bity bit of sense to have a lap (unless there are big signs of endometriosis). my opinion only, but, I have severe endo, and severe scaring (a laparascopy is what just put me in hospital for 10 days) so please do really think about it.
    PERSONALLY, unless you have moral or personal objections to ivf or iui (given that male factor is the big issue and really male factor can totally be addressed with ivf) I would take the next 3 months work on egg quality and sperm quality and then do IVF (but I would go to the clinic with the BEST STATS IN THE CITY). SERIOUSLY, why waste hard earned money on a clinic with lower stats - search around, find the best stat and do ivf and have yourself a little baby(ies). of course my opinion only.

  7. It is sorta nice not to have to wonder what's going on, even with the additional information to process, isn't it?

    Since it seems from what you've written in prior posts that you aren't in a "rush, rush" situation just yet, Heather's thought about waiting for the lap until after your husband's recheck makes sense to me. Sometimes it seems like something the RE's suggest because it is "doing something," even if it really isn't fully necessary.

  8. Thank you all so much for the advice, I need all I can get. The R.E. made it seem like I would be silly to turn down the lap. That I would just be prolonging the unavoidable. I have requested the results of all my tests, so they should be at my home tomorrow....then I will know what the CA125 number actually was. Thank you expectant duck for the firm opinion, I need that kind of guidance right now, I need to know from really live people what the outcomes could actually be. I am not morally opposed to IVF, but I think my bank account might be. We were worried enough about the cost of a naturally conceived baby, mainly because I am self employed and will not have any benefits or maternity
    leave. We also live in a tiny tiny condo and have been saving for 3 years for a home for our "family" we almost have enough for a down payment. We may have to choose between the house and the IVF, but there is no place for a baby in her.....it's a one bedroom, only 500 sq. feet.

    Sorry, I know, it sounds like I'm just complaining about my sob story,
    we all have a sad story to share. I just really never expected this, I really just thought..... find a boy, settle down and have some babies. silly me!

  9. I wish the news had been better. But I sense peace in your finding some direction and a reason why this has been a troublesome path thus far. I hope you reach a good decision for you regarding the surgery and that hubby's numbers improve with the tweaking the RE suggested.

    In any case...you are on your way to motherhood. You are committed to getting there and you will.

  10. Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I think I'll really take your advice and try to figure out what my dream is trying to tell me... I'm still thinking about it though.

    Your dream freaks me out a little! LOL! Hopefully the "bad news" isn't something huge!