The Dreaded R.E. appointment.

Well, its all over, like the quick removal of a band aid, stings at first, 

but at least it's over with. I cried only 3 times during the appointment, 

which I think is pretty good considering it felt like my whole future 

was riding on the words that were coming out of his mouth. I was 

also slightly more emotional because of my dear friend AF, so the fact 

that my tears were barely noticeable to anyone but myself is quite a 

victory, if I do say so myself. "never let them see you cry!" I like to say :)

So was this a good news kinda meeting? I guess it depends on how you 

look at it. Turns out that I might be just fine, all of my tests have come 

back normal....except for the CA125, the test that shows the possibility 

of endometriosis. That test came back high/normal, so he would like

to see me have the laproscopy, and has already scheduled a time and 

a place (at least he's efficient). I'm not really sure I am comfortable 

with this surgery, but I'm not sure why.....I think I will spend the next

2 weeks researching this surgery before I have the meeting with the 

surgeon. 

For those of you out in the blog world that have already been in this 

situation, have you had the surgery? were there any side effects? 

regrets? do you feel the surgery was relatively non evasive and 

worth it? my R.E. said there was no chance it would cause scar but I 

have read conflicting information. 

The issue with our infertility turns out to be male factor. I have not 

read up on any of this information yet, I ran right home to write in 

my blog first (you gals are the first to know!!!). Here are the 3 reasons 

for my invisible tears:

1. Lowish sperm count 1/14 million 

2. 78% abnormal acrosome - so sperm cannot "drill" into an egg

    for fertilization

3. DNA fragmentation, 38% damaged sperm

All three of those findings put together equal a "very low chance

of conceiving naturally". R.E. believes that the sperm issues could be 

environmental so he has put hubby on Male Fertility Supplements. 

3 months from now we will check his swimmers again, if nothing 

has changed and the problem turns out to be genetic, the only 

way we will be able to have a baby is through IVF :(

So there ya go, good or bad news, depending on how you look at it, 

to be quite honest I feel better at least knowing what were up 

against. Surprisingly hubby seems to be ok with the results, he is 

happy that I can calm down a bit and get back into my normal 

routine, knowing that I'm healthy. I think he's been worried about

my sanity for the last year or so! perhaps he's putting up a brave 

front, but I'm glad he's at least keeping me optimistic for now. 

I guess that's it for my posting today, I am not happy or sad, just

kinda.....I dunno, in shock? At least I won't have to be taking 

those fertility teas for a while, that's kinda good news!!