Saturday, January 2, 2010

Cheers to 2010!

I have chosen to be optimistic about 2010, 'cause really, what choice 
do I have? DH and I really did nothing to ring in the New Year, the 
closest I got to a party was an overly packed spin class complete with 
disco balls and the Auld Lang Syne New Years anthem to finish it off. 
It actually was quite emotional, there were sweaty hugs all around. 

Why did we choose to do nothing? well, DH is feeling very much like
a social outcast since giving up alcohol in hopes for super strength
swimmers. He asked me very nicely if we could just stay in and I,
being so grateful for his dedication, was happy to oblige. Through 
the night he did his best to insure we had fun, he rented great movies, 
made sure we had snacks (including chocolate) and even brought out 
some non-alcoholic champagne at midnight. 

Was new years eve hard for me? a little, after the spin class I visited
a client and her one week old baby boy. I held the baby in my arms 
for the whole visit, giving mom a much needed break and myself the
worst type of heartache. Baby boy just laid there, completely chilled
out with this sweet little fingers and toes wiggling about. It would have 
been easier if the baby cried and screamed the whole visit, I could have
at least thought "oh god, thank god I don't have to hear that all day!"
To tell you the truth though, even a crying baby makes me want a baby 
these days. 

Even though I had spent New Years Eve was with my DH, I still felt a 
little lonely, like someone or something was missing. Of course we still 
had fun, we played games, watched movies and even did a little BDin' 
because lets face it, it was CD13 and that is much more important then
New Years Eve. By the time we went to bed it was 3am, I had only slept 
for one hour when a client called at let me know she was in labor. 
So, off I went to start the New Year in style, at North York General 
watching the birth of a very happy baby boy. Either this was a sign 
from god or a cruel joke, only time will tell!

Today I tried to do an overview of 2009 but gave up half way though, I 
will just let you know it was a tough year for us. We had only been 
married 6 months when we rang in 2009, so the year began with the 
end of our "honeymoon" period. Although we were together for 4 years 
before our wedding, it feels like reality didn't really sink in until 
2009. We learned that we really didn't see eye to eye on most major
marital debates, such as money, vacations, religion, education ext. 
During this time I was also starting to build up my own company and 
was working all the time for next to no monetary gains. Adding 
infertility into this mix was almost a little more then these two little
opposites could handle. 

2009 was definitely trying on our relationship but I am happy to report 
that by the time 2010 came around were beginning to think on the 
same page. It took lots of communication, compromise and patience to 
get us here, but I can now say that we are stronger going into 2010 then 
we have ever been. I am not sure if having this one common baby goal 
has brought us closer together, but whatever it is I am grateful for it. 
I feel like we are in more of a partnership now, ready for the challenges 
and decisions we will be up against while we continue our quest for 
baby #1.

Out of pure habit, I present to you my list of new years resolutions:
1. Have a baby (no big shock there)
2. Try to live in the moment, thinking about what I DO NOT have 
has robbed me of many "moments" that could have been in 2009
3. Go to spin class 4 times a week
4. Put hardwood down in my condo, then sell it
5. Buy a house
6. Continue to build skills for my company, mainly taking more 
hypnosis and business training
7. If still no baby bump by November 2nd (my 32nd b-day), start 
looking into adoption options......I know DH does not remember 
agreeing to this, but I never forget :)
8. Get a puppy

I think this is it, Happy New Year to all of you reading, I really wish
you the best in 2010 and I thank you for being here for me during 
2009, you helped me more then you will ever know!


  1. Those are great resolutions! I think it's sweet that you both stayed in for New Year's and that your DH is so dedicated to not drinking to help his fertility. I hope 2010 brings you a lot of happiness and all your resolutions (esp #1) are fulfilled.

  2. Awesome resolutions!

    2010 has got to be a better year, it just has to be!

  3. Great resolutions! We stayed in for New Year's as well (mostly because of the crappy weather). It must feel good to see your DH committed to not drinking to help the swimmers. I get a little frustrated that my husband can't seem to remember to take his vitamins twice a day...but he did quit taking baths 3 years ago - and he does miss them.
    Anyway, I hope 2010 brings you everything you dream and more!

  4. happy new year. Thanks for giving me a bit of food for thought recently. I admire your strength.

  5. Hello!

    My name is Elisabeth, and I am an infertility / repeated pregnancy loss "veteran". You can read a little bit about me and my experiences in my blog: . I am completing a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and my dissertation is focused upon the impact of infertility on marriage. I believe strongly that there is a need for better support services for men and women who are undergoing IF diagnosis and treatment, and my hope is that this study will aid in the development of such services.

    I am contacting you after stumbling across your blog. I am recruiting participants for my study, and wanted to invite you and your husband to take part. All that would be involved would be the completion of an online survey, that would take approximately 20 minutes. All couples who complete the surveys will receive a voucher good for a pair of free movie tickets at a Regal Cinemas.

    Please let me know if you are interested by emailing me at . I have included the criteria for participation below.

    Feel free to pass information along to anyone you know who might be interested in contributing to this study.

    Best of luck to you!

    Member of a married, heterosexual couple
    Both you and your spouse are between the ages of 20 – 45
    You do not have any biological or adopted children living in your home
    You are not currently pregnant
    Either you, your spouse, or both has received an infertility diagnosis
    You have received treatment for infertility in the past six months, or plan to do so in the next six months
    Both you and your partner are willing to participate & have access to the internet

  6. Hi, I'm new here, just browsing around for IF blogs and came across yours (I've just created an IF blog 'coz I don't want to mix IF with my regular blog). GOOD LUCK on your NY resolution. We're almost the same age 'coz my birthday is at the end of Nov (this year I'll be 32, as well). :-D