Monday, January 11, 2010

Ode to my Grandpa

Last night I lost my grandpa, he died of lung cancer after fighting 
for two years. I am happy that his pain is now gone and that he will 
find his way to my grandmother, but I am sad for myself and my family.
I did not expect to feel this way, after all I new it was coming, but I can't
help but wish he could stay with us. 

My grandpa had a hard life, he married my grandmother when 
she was only 14 years old and they had finished having their 5 children
by the time she was in her early 20's. Of course I'll never really know
what happened, my guess is the stress of being a mother to 5 children 
at such a young age was too much for my grandma. She eventually 
became ill and spent the rest of her years in and out of the hospital. 
My grandfather remained devoted to her for nearly 40 more years, 
he fed her, bathed her, and tried his best to keep the family together. 

8 years ago my grandmother died, grandpa was there with her until
her dying breath. I wondered if he would be happy now that he no 
longer needed to take care of her, if he would be happy to live his 
own life. When I asked him about this he simply said "my life IS 
to take care of her, that is what I am meant to do."

Grandpa, of course, continued on with a smile on his face, he trusted
without a doubt that god had a plan for him and before long he would
be back with his wife. Years went by but he never lost hope, he even
watched as his brothers and sisters passed and he became the last
in that generation of our family to be alive. Still he smiled, still he 
knew he would see them all again. 

That day did come, that day was yesterday, and I know without a 
that after 8 long years of waiting my grandma and grandpa are 
together again, in a way they could not be while they were here. 
I will always try to remember the strength he had in these years, 
is absolute trust in something bigger then us. He never lost hope or 
the smile on his face, he has taught me and all of his grandchildren 
that strength, hope, patience and laughter will not only get us to 
where we want to be but will allow us to enjoy the journey. 

I am sad because I will never see him again, sad because he will never
see my children, but if there is anything I have learned from him it is 
that I will see him again one day. Until then I must live and love and 
trust that I will get to where I want to be. 


  1. This was a beautiful post. I am so sorry about your loss and I hope that your sadness washes away soon. I like that he set a great example for you and that you were able to see what Hope looked like, first hand. That is so amazing that he raised the 5 children whil taking care of your sick grandmother. So many people would have walked away from that situation. What a strong person. Too bad we can't crawl back into our mother wombs for 9 months before we die. So weird how we have that 9 months to acclamate to a new life coming and with death we are often given very little or no time.

  2. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Even when it is expected, it still hurts. It sounds like he was a remarkable man. Take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you.

  3. I'm sorry for your loss. How generous of him to give you all such a great lesson in how to live life.


  4. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    It seems like the beginning of 2010 has been a really difficult time for a lot of families.

    Sending you big, big hugs!

  5. I'm sorry you lost your grandpa! I'm happy you're celebrating his life and memory in such an awesome way :)

  6. Thank you for sharing this story about your grandpa. He sounded like a generous, devoted, selfless man. I'm sorry for your loss.

  7. Thank you everyone for your kinda words. He was a very devoted man and a very funny man. He will be missed, but I know he's happy where he is! It was so great to be able to tell his story to you all, have I said enough how much I love having a blog community?

  8. I'm so sorry for your loss :(. I've never really had the pleasure of knowing my grandparents, but your grandpa sounds like he was a great guy.

    Thank you for your comment on my blog.

  9. I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing man!

  10. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. He sounds like he was a gentle and caring man.


  11. What a lovely tribute to your grandfather! I'm sorry for your loss but I am happy for you that you have such wonderful memories.

  12. SO SORRY about this...I'm teary-eyed reading about your grandpa's devotion and smile. He's a wonderful man!

  13. I'm so sorry for your loss, commented on your other post, and didn't realize this is all so fresh for you. He sounds like he was an amazing man!