For some reason my car seems to be the best place to cry, I don't know
if it's because there is a steady stream of sad music blastin' in my
speakers or if it's because the areas I tend to drive in are crawling with
mommies and their high end strollers. I swear only mothers and babies
live in the area I work, I think there is actually stating that they must
pack up and leave when their baby turns 3.
Anyway, I got distracted from the real reason I am writing this post,
I wanted to talk about the news I received yesterday. It all started with
my new motorola speaker phone that allows me to drive and talk
hands free. I was so excited about this new phone and after waiting
all week, someone finally called. Excited I pressed the button to test out
my new toy and began to talk. So there I was, talking away when I
realized my friend on the other end did not seem so happy.
"I have something to tell you" she said as she sobbed
"ok girly, I'm here for you, what is it?" I said, not really understanding
what was happening, but I was understandably worried for her.
"I don't really want to say anything because I know what your going
through and I don't want you to get upset................."
She continued on for a while, her voice filling the car, but I was no
longer listening, I knew what she had to say. She was pregnant again,
her older child just over a year old. Because I was on this stupid speaker
phone I tried my best to keep it together. I did not want her to know
I had also begun to cry.
"oh, oh sweety, it's ok, your allowed to be pregnant, if your happy
I'm happy for you" I said as fast as I could but she was inconsolable,
she knew her news was hurting me and she was just beside herself.
After a bit of talking she started to feel better about her news, she
said she was actually having a hard time feeling happy about her
pregnancy because she was so worried to tell me. When we hanging up I
continued to cry, now with a little more volume. I was not exactly sure
why I was crying, was I sad because yet again I was lapped? or was I
sad because I had stolen a very special moment away from my friend.
I mean, she has every right to be happy, didn't she? that should have
been a great day for her, but instead she was filled with dread because
of the stress I had put on her.
She truly is a good friend, and I thank her endlessly for breaking the
news in such a compassionate matter. I am sure I would be feeling
differently right now if she just came out and said "surprise, baby on
board!!" but she didn't, she was kind and understanding. I'm really
starting to think its NOT the pregnancy announcements that are
making me upset, but the way they are announced. I am going to
try in the future not to react so emotionally to pregnancy
announcements so that friends are not terrified to tell me their
good news. My only hope is that in return, people follow my friends
lead and break it to us in a more understanding and respectful