Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Mothers Day Posting

This is what my cousin had posted on her facebook today, I don't know
why but it made me feel so ANNOYED with her.......kind of like, HOW
how irrational this is, but I'm too annoyed to care:

"I traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon hair cuts for ponytails, 
long showers for hairy legs, late nights for early mornings, 
designer purses for diaper bags and I wouldn't change a thing!! 
With Mother's day drawing near let's see how many moms 
repost this. We moms don't care what we gave up and will 
continue to give... up willingly for our children!"

She really has no Idea how much I more I would be willing to give
up, how much more I have given up, and will continue to give up. 
So far she has 15 responses to this post, i wonder what kind
of response I would get if I posted this:

"I traded coffee for dong quai, wine for herbal teas, good sex for 
timed sex, long jogs for accupunture treatments, late nights for 
early morning blood tests, a down payment on a home for IVF, 
and I never thought this would be my life. With Mother's day 
drawing near, lets see how many ppl care about those who are
left behind. We infertiles are anxious, sad, depressed and hurt
by what we give up, and continue to give up........willingly 
in the tiniest bit of hope for a child"


  1. Wow I have to agree there is something annoying about your cousins post, it's almost distasteful. I have seen this one circulation and I really like it:

    "Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. When you were born, I saw your face and knew I was in love. Before you were an hour old, I knew I would die for you. To this day, I will."

    It seems so much more meaningful. I liked your version you is so painfully true.

  2. Where does your cousin live? I will kick her in the shin. Twice.

    I wish that I was brave enough to post what you wrote here on my FB page. Alas, I am not and I will continue to suffer through yet another Mother's Day childless and sad.

  3. I've seen that post too! What is wrong with people? Would it kill them to at least add a line that says they hope all those who want to be mothers will have that opportunity one day? Oy!

    Just remember you're not in this infertility club alone. I for one am wishing you a peaceful day tomorrow.

  4. Unbelievable....she dosen't even know how lucky she is to be a mom. I would give anything to not have to endure the fertility treatments and would love every minute of being a mother.

  5. I love your response. Nice. Really really great!

  6. I saw that same exact post on someone else's profile I am friends with. It got on my nerves also. I didn't say anything back either.

    You could always post something back like, "Happy Mother's Day. I hope you know how lucky you are." or something like that. Help her realize how many people there are that aren't in her shoes.

  7. I effing hate those posts, almost as much I as I hate the "I'm a nurse (etc.), appreciate me!" posts. That's why my current status reads: "JA wants to see y'all posting more about JA Appreciation Week, godammit. Will you do it and leave it on your status for at least an hour? Most people won't, but that's because they're selfish whores."

  8. I love your post! SO much better than the other one!!!

  9. And here's a preview of tomorrow's status, inspired by this post: "JA thinks it's nice that there's a day set aside to celebrate mothers, but wouldn't think twice about trading it for a way to bring motherhood to all those who wish for it, or for the universal protection of the rights of those who know they're not yet ready for it."

  10. I've heard about that one floating around, but thankfully haven't seen it yet. And puhlease, I know so many woman who are "mommies" and still get salon hair cuts, and actually carry designer purses AS diaper bags. It's such an artificial way to describe how much they love being mothers - I agree with Kim that the one she saw is much a more meaningful way to express the sentiment.
    I LOVE your post, and really wish I had the guts to post something like that :).

  11. wow...what hatred you is mothers day you know.i understand that you're hurting, but why hate her for posting something about being a mom? i'm sure she didn't do it to hurt you, and yet you are spewing venom about it--hey people have babies and they're going to talk about it--why should people stop talking about it because you're trying to have one??

  12. great post! LOL! I hate, hate, hate those copied FB posts. No matter what they're about.

  13. Well Rappy, I actually don't have any hatred towards my cousin, I love her to bits......sometimes I just get a little annoyed and the ONE place I feel safe to talk about it is here on my very own little blog where no one I love will ever know that sometimes I'm hurt by being the only one left with no babies to hold. I'm not "spewing venom" I am talking to people who understand, which clearly you don't. It was just a little funny comment to get the annoyance off my chest so I could move on and spend mothers with a bunch of mama's.

  14. This is yet another example of why I finally had to deactivate my facebook account. Comments like that, as innocent as they are meant, really burn. It must be wonderful to be so blissfully ignorant of the struggles of TTC. It must be so wonderful to easily achieve a pregnancy and be confident that the child will be born healthy. It must be wonderful to be able to "give everything up" for motherhood. I, too, would give up just about anything at this point to know that I could have a healthy child.

    I LOVE your response! I am also happy that you have this blog to release your feelings in a "safe" way. The social politics of pregnancy and infertility are very complicated. I find that I'm always trying desperately to spare others' feelings at the expense of my own by remaining silent and passively accepting of all that goes on around me while inside I am dying every day. This is really turning into a stream-of-consciousness-rant...just want you to know that I understand.

    Much love to you.

  15. I'm here from "babies everywhere none that call me mama's" blog.

    I wish you could post yours! Your response was great! I am annoyed at her post too.

  16. Oh please do post yours!! I think it is wonderful!

  17. Damn straight that is an annoying post. I so wish I was brave enough to put my reproductive life out there and post something like your draft on my FB page. But like Jelly Belly, I'll stay quiet and suffer in silence through another one of these m-days...

  18. I'm late to the commenting but your post was AWESOME. I wish you had posted it. I'm not even on FB but my hubs is and some of my friends are on it and so I see their posts sometimes and one just said "Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow mommas out there!" and I just felt gut punched all over again. It's just the fact that I'm left out. Your cousin's was way more annoying.

  19. Ugh one of my friends had that post too. I heart your comeback status though-you should have totally posted it! I also saw a lot of, Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers and mothers-to-be which did not include us infertiles...just the prego gals out there. Such an awesome day!