A Good Baby Shower???

I know that sounds like an oxymoron here on these blogs, but it's true,

I actually went to a good baby shower. Ok, well the baby shower itself

was a huge money grabbing circus (really, I don't even think the 

octomom needed this much swag) but I ended up sitting next to a 

very special person. 

First, let me explain the circumstances surrounding this shower by

saying that this was indeed a "big fat greek shower". I am a Canadian 

girl of Catholic origin who is married to a Greek Orthodox man and

his entire Greek family. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE his family, 

but sometimes their need for babies can be a bit overwhelming. 

I already feel like I will never measure up as the "perfect wife" for

their son because I am not Greek, but add being unable to produce

offspring and the relationship can get a bit strained. 

Soooooo, when I got a baby shower invite for the PURE Greek couple 

that got married after us, I was feeling a little less then adequate. 

Needless to say I did not want to go to this shower, I flip flopped back

and forth until finally my Catholic guilt got the better of me and I 

replied "yes" to the invite. 

Ok, now back to that special person I mentioned earlier, she is my 

husbands cousin and we were seated next to each other during 

the shower (yes this shower was big enough for a seating arrangement, 

crazy I know). This cousin and I have been placed next to each other 

before and I have always been happy for this, both because she's super 

funny and because she also has no children. 

It had always seemed a little strange to me that her and her husband

had yet to have children. They have been married for years and she

loves children, I have seen her with her nieces and I think she would 

make the best mom EVER. She had always blown off the "so whenz it 

your turn?" question, so I just assumed that she was more interested 

in work or they were just waiting for the "right time".

At some point during the shower I heard her say the word "fertility 

treatment" and without even thinking about it, I butted in and asked 

her if she was trying for a baby. Turns out they have been trying for 

years and like us are exploring their options. I could hardly believe it, 

somehow, amongst all the pink and blue gift bags and baby 

paraphernalia I bumped into another infertile. I should have guessed 

though, considering her drink of choice was a vodka and orange 

at 11:00am!

We ended up going on and on about our treatments and tests, I think 

it was the first time in baby shower history that NOT having children 

was the dominant topic of conversation at the table. We were both 

finally able to take off our fake smiles and say what we were really 

thinking "I'd rather be anywhere but here!". . Sure the members of 

our family who know what were going through want us to "just be 

happy for the mommy to be" but the truth is we weren't and we were 

tired of pretending. It wasn't long before the two of us moved into 

the lobby to escape the 2 hour gift opening extravaganza. 

I can't tell you how amazing it was to be at a shower and be honest 

about how I was really feeling. I know now that it was more then just 

catholic guilt that made me go to that shower. I really do believe I was 

meant to be there, to sit next to our cousin and feel for the first time 

that I am not alone, even amongst my husbands big Greek family. 

I am sure that her and I will grow closer because of this and although 

I am sad that we are both growing through it, I will forever find her a 

huge breath of fresh air at future family gatherings.