Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I don't even know where to begin.....

Lately I have found that the ONLY thing that keeps my head on 
straight is a latte......I don't know why, its just something that happened
recently and I have become slightly depended of my afternoon latte
break. The coffee shop next to my condo building makes a DELICIOUS
Nutella late, can you even imagine how great that would be? well, it is 
that good, if not better then what your imagining :)

I don't exactly live in the BEST neighborhood and today on my stroll
to the coffee shop I had some company. A young woman, clearly 
pregnant, and clearly on drugs began to ask me for change to help 
feed herself and her baby. First thing I thought was.....Is this a test? 
Why else would a pregnant, young, drug addict be placed in front of an infertile, healthy, married woman? I mean,  If there IS someone up 
there with a plan for us, this situation must either be a sick joke or a 
test of some sort right?

I decided to give the powers that be the benefit of the doubt and I 
told the young woman that I did not have change but I would buy her 
a sandwich or something at the coffee shop. She said great and came 
along with me to the store. Before I knew it we were at the counter at 
the coffee shop and she was screaming at the top of her lungs that she 
"Wanted money not food!!! McDonalds and not a sandwich!!!" 

I didn't know what to do, everyone was really alarmed and the owner
of the coffee shop was not impressed with my guest. I ordered as 
quickly as I could and gave her 5 dollars from the change instead of a 
sandwich. She quickly snapped for the quarters and dimes as well 
before she ran out of the store. I stayed at the coffee shop for a little
bit, trying to digest what had just happened, but I can tell you my 
Nutella latte was not as great as I remembered. 

I know it sounds petty that I could look at a pregnant drug addict and 
feel like I'M the one being punished by a higher power. Of course I 
know that I have it good in this scenario, even the fact that I can have a 
latte when I want makes me feel privileged. I'm just a little confused
by the way things work, I know the world works in mysterious ways 
but how is it fair to give babies to woman who do not want them when 
there are woman in the world that really REALLY want them and are 
able to care for them? What is happening here??

I'm sorry if this post sounds mean or self absorbed or ungrateful but
I just wanted to talk about it. 


  1. Do these kinds of things happen to fertile women too? I somehow doubt it...
    It's not right. Drug addicts, young teenagers, any number of unfit women can successfully reproduce and it is definitely not fair.
    I don't understand the McDonald's bit though - would she really have eaten something at McD's instead of a sandwich at a coffee shop? Or was she so wacked out that she just freaked out and started screaming? So weird...

  2. Girl, you did more than I would have so I think you definitely earned points with "the powers that be." I 100% feel the same way you do so don't feel bad, I hate when I read the news about women who hide their babies under the bed or pass out drunk on their babies or worst-16 and Pregnant!

  3. I've said many, many times that if I was an overweight crack whore that I would already have my baby!!!!

    I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a horrible experience when you were just trying to be nice and helpful.

    When I lived in France I saw a man on the street with a little girl in his lap. I had just left a bakery (this is back when I was still eating gluten!) and I gave them the croissants I bought. The guy looked all confused. I didn't realize that many of the panhandlers on the street were not really homeless and that they were part of quite big racket (a lot of the beggers were dropped off in Mer.cedes vehicles).

    Anyhow, you did nothing wrong in this situation, please know that.

  4. The world is unfair..too many "unfit" mothers out there..It is sad and upsetting that she would be on drugs and pregnant..the sadest part is the unborn child who has to come into this life with a mom like her. It is definitely unfair and I agree with you 100% that we (who can afford a latte) have a loving hubby etc...can provide a much BETTER life for a child have to be burdend by this Infertility problem. It sucks!

    My hubby loves loves loves NUTELLA! can you tell me what this fantastic coffee shop is called and where is it..my hubby would just die for a Nutella latte!!! yummo! I need to bring him there!

  5. I am totally listening...this is our test, I think. Are we passing?

  6. DUDE, I can't believe I found your blog! The EXACT SAME THING happened to me on Mother's Day and I just finished writing about it! Well, the second part won't get posted until tomorrow but I am so with you!!

    I too was wondering if this was a sick joke or some sort of test that I failed. Totally just not fair.

    *changing the subject* A Nutella latte? Can I just say - yumtastic!!

  7. I also love my latte's! It is a perfectly normal habit or addiction!!!! That Nutella Latte sounds AMAZING!

    What you just desribed above was really messed up! Totally unfair and cruel! I would have felt the same way.

  8. Disturbing indeed. It's things like that that leave me wondering if anyone is up there controlling anything going on down here. You handled it better that I would have. I would have assumed she wanted money for drugs, not food, and turned her down entirely.

  9. Not mean, not self-absorbed, and not ungrateful. You tried to do something for someone who didn't appreciate what you were willing to provide.

    And I think that's hard to process. Where better than here?

  10. This is absolutely terrible - can't believe you handled it the way you did, I'm so impressed. I don't get it at all. Why drug addicts get pregnant so easily and then continue to treat their bodies like sh!t just makes me ill. Sorry this happened to you!!!

  11. WOW. That's just incredible. I'm so sorry you had to deal with it.

  12. Ekkk I am not sure how I would have handled myself. I think I might have done the same thing as you and offer to buy her food. That ouburst would have put me over the edge though.

    None of the "why's" are clear right now, but someday I hope we all get our answers.


  13. The part that makes me question the existence/wisdom of a higher power is not the fact that women like this are given children, but that children are given to women like this. There is nothing fair about any of it, I'm afraid.

  14. You should have told her she could have $5 if you could have her baby. :)

  15. Totally off topic... but I went to the mail today, and guess what I found!!! LOVE IT!!!!! It's fabulous, and like you said, PERFECT for an infertile! I love my little uterus! Thank you SOOOO much - you totally made my day!

    Check out my blog for a pic...

  16. That is awful! Oh how cruel life is. I don't know what I would've done. I think you handled it well. HUGS!

  17. Just found your blog and I love how you write - sounds just like the way I talk! I'm always telling my husband "I know this makes me a bad person..." about someone else's ability to get pregnant seemingly without trying. Best of luck to you.

    We're 19 months in with no pregnancy, and it's looking like ivf might be our only option - which isn't an option ($).

  18. You know, if any of us could answer the question at the end of your post we'd all be a lot saner. I just think there IS no logic in the way some things work in the world..I don't subscribe to the idea that everything really happens for a reason because really, what is the reason a baby should be born addicted to drugs to a mother who doesn't want it? Sure, we can learn something if we look hard enough, but was it that innocent little baby's JOB and purpose to suffer so we could learn? I just don't really buy it.
    Anyway, I am SO SORRY you went through that I think you handled it extremely well.

    Life just makes no sense sometimes.

  19. This scenario and your description makes me shiver. I am so sad at the state of the world, addiction and the unfairness of it all. The world does have a way of making things even out...you just can't expect to happen when you want it to :)