Random Things

I realize I have not written in at least a week, that's the longest I have 

ever gone without spewing my guts out onto this blog. There were

a few reasons for my absence, one was attending two births in the

span of three days, and the other was sleeping any possible moment

I could while not at these births. I finally got a good nights sleep last 

night but today I'm just lounging around the house. My husband is home

as well, he's working in the office and JUST made this comment 

"are you just going to sit and watch TV all day?" to which I replied 

"I worked over 60 hours this weekend, I can do what I WANT!" I 

probably didn't need to be so hasty, but I'm still tired.....it's hard to 

catch up when you miss 2 full nights of sleep. 

I actually did have plans today, plans to go with my friend and her 

newborn to visit a friend and her newborn! we have been planning this 

outing for a long time, but each time I come up with some lame excuse 

for not being able to attend. I can't mentally wrap my head around 

hanging out with my 2 best friends and their newborns while I still 

remain childless, it just makes me feel like such a failure. I still 

remember when the first of my friends became pregnant, she let us 

know we had to get jumpin if we wanted children at the same time. 

Then the second of my friends got pregnant and let me know that I 

was next. Well, time passed and here I am, planning a trip to visit 

their newborns with my empty arms. So did I make a lame excuse

today? NOPE, the weather actually did that for me! Thanks ice rain!

Funny enough, I was actually looking forward to today a little bit, 

I have not met either of the babies, and I think I'm in a good enough 

head space to handle it....but I guess some larger force does not 

believe so. We have rescheduled so I hope I am still in a good enough 

space to visit, I would love to visit and show my support and happiness 

for them. Plus, I got them some really cute toys for christmas!

In other news, I started my spin classes again! I know I have been 

complaining of my steady weight gain since starting this journey, but

that all ends here. Getting a real diagnosis has eased my worries about

intense exercise effecting my fertility. I got a month membership to 

the spin studio and when I'm not at a birth or dead asleep I have been 

going fairly regularly. No weight loss yet....but it will come. 

Recently there have been bloggers writing up their "christmas card 

greetings"  These posts have inspired me to write my own holiday 

christmas card. I may even consider sending it! It's been a while since 

I have given anyone but bloggers an update, so it may be nice. It would 

be nice to spend a little time reflecting on the last year, although It was 

not the best year I have ever had, I'm sure I can dig up a few things that 

have been good. Maybe I should write two cards.....one that says what I 

really want to say, and a more PG rated card for the family/friends. 

I guess that's it for today, I'm going to go back to bed. I love sleep!

oh, somehow in-between the births I managed to squeeze in an 

appointment with the endometriosis surgeon. I refused the surgery, 

she respected my wishes and said to call back if I change my mind, 

after all "I think you NEED it". I'm comfortable with my decision

to wait and see if boosting my husbands swimmers helps our 

fertility first. 

Talk soon. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ