christmas. Since my sisters and I have all grown up, my parents have
been throwing christmas a week early. This makes it easier for all of us
to be together for the "holidays" without trying to juggle our partners/
husbands family as well. Although we are all grown up, we still spend
Christmas eve in our new pajama's playing board games before going
to bed and waiting or Santa.
This year our childish endeavors make a little more sense now that
my 21/2 year old nephew has been thrown into the mix. This was the
first year he really understood that Santa would be bringing presents
and showed special care when leaving the cookies out for Santa.
Having a little guy around definitely breathed a new excitement into
our holiday traditions, but it was also a constant reminder that yet
again my husband and I are spending the holidays without a child or
even a baby bump to call our own.
Christmas has always been a season for lists, mainly shopping lists,
but I though I would make a few lists of my own.....here is my lists
of discomforts and joys that occurred during my holidays. I will
start with the discomforts so I end on a high note, that way I can
spend the day shopping rather then wallowing in my own self pity.
1. Watching my nephew playing all alone with his new christmas toys,
knowing that if things had gone the way we planned, he would have
a friend to share, or not share, his new trucks with.
2. Listening to my Parents and my In-laws discuss their impatience
with our procreation over a nice cup of coffee and desert.
3. Having the equivalent of the "sex" talk with my father while
trapped in the family mini van. Although I know his intentions were
nothing but wonderful, hearing my dad tell me to "just relax" and it
will happen is probably one of the biggest discomforts I will ever
4. Being called to a birth a day before my family leaves to go back
home and feeling like I will miss our final day together.
5. Starting my period for the 18th time since trying to conceive.
1. Watching my nephew's eyes light up when he came down the stairs
to see that Santa had came and ate up all his cookies.
2. Having my whole family together for the first time in years,
including my husband and my sisters partner (0nly person
missing was my youngest sisters beau, but there's always next year!).
It made for a wonderful week and an amazing turkey dinner, with lots
to be thankful for. *special thanks to my hubby for the turkey*
3. My new Harf........half hat, half scarf, and my brand new down
filled jacket :)
4. Christmas miracle births that last only 7 hours and give me just
enough time to get home and have a heart to heart with my brother
in law and a good-bye breakfast with my family.
5. My dream journal, given to me by my middle sister, who has
not only been reading this blog, but has listened enough to
know that a place to record my dreams is exactly what I need.
6. Going to a salon with my sisters.
7. My husband being there for me after my family is gone and silence
seems to be the loudest thing in my ears. Although he knew I would
be sad for the days following my family's departure (as I always am)
he also knew that AF had arrived. At one point in the night he turned
to me and said "we will have a baby for next christmas, I promise".
I know he can't really promise me that, but it was still nice to hear.
So thats it, it's nice to see that my JOY list is the longer of the two
this holiday season, but of course I still have christmas with the
in-laws left to go so that may change :)