ever gone without spewing my guts out onto this blog. There were
a few reasons for my absence, one was attending two births in the
span of three days, and the other was sleeping any possible moment
I could while not at these births. I finally got a good nights sleep last
night but today I'm just lounging around the house. My husband is home
as well, he's working in the office and JUST made this comment
"are you just going to sit and watch TV all day?" to which I replied
"I worked over 60 hours this weekend, I can do what I WANT!" I
probably didn't need to be so hasty, but I'm still tired.....it's hard to
catch up when you miss 2 full nights of sleep.
I actually did have plans today, plans to go with my friend and her
newborn to visit a friend and her newborn! we have been planning this
outing for a long time, but each time I come up with some lame excuse
for not being able to attend. I can't mentally wrap my head around
hanging out with my 2 best friends and their newborns while I still
remain childless, it just makes me feel like such a failure. I still
remember when the first of my friends became pregnant, she let us
know we had to get jumpin if we wanted children at the same time.
Then the second of my friends got pregnant and let me know that I
was next. Well, time passed and here I am, planning a trip to visit
their newborns with my empty arms. So did I make a lame excuse
today? NOPE, the weather actually did that for me! Thanks ice rain!
Funny enough, I was actually looking forward to today a little bit,
I have not met either of the babies, and I think I'm in a good enough
head space to handle it....but I guess some larger force does not
believe so. We have rescheduled so I hope I am still in a good enough
space to visit, I would love to visit and show my support and happiness
for them. Plus, I got them some really cute toys for christmas!
In other news, I started my spin classes again! I know I have been
complaining of my steady weight gain since starting this journey, but
that all ends here. Getting a real diagnosis has eased my worries about
intense exercise effecting my fertility. I got a month membership to
the spin studio and when I'm not at a birth or dead asleep I have been
going fairly regularly. No weight loss yet....but it will come.
Recently there have been bloggers writing up their "christmas card
greetings" These posts have inspired me to write my own holiday
christmas card. I may even consider sending it! It's been a while since
I have given anyone but bloggers an update, so it may be nice. It would
be nice to spend a little time reflecting on the last year, although It was
not the best year I have ever had, I'm sure I can dig up a few things that
have been good. Maybe I should write two cards.....one that says what I
really want to say, and a more PG rated card for the family/friends.
I guess that's it for today, I'm going to go back to bed. I love sleep!
oh, somehow in-between the births I managed to squeeze in an
appointment with the endometriosis surgeon. I refused the surgery,
she respected my wishes and said to call back if I change my mind,
after all "I think you NEED it". I'm comfortable with my decision
to wait and see if boosting my husbands swimmers helps our
Talk soon. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ