Sore and a Bit Grumpy!

Last weekend was the "birth in special circumstances" conference that I have been 

planning all year. It all went off perfectly and I was SO happy to see that all our hard

work was not wasted, we had the legendary Pam England here as a guest speaker! 

I got to tell you though, spending 2 days listening to all that can go wrong in birth is NOT 

a good way to spend a weekend when your pregnant. Of course I know there are things

that can go wrong, I've seen it with my own eyes, but for the most part birth is a well 

oiled machine and works quite well. I work very VERY hard to keep a positive outlook

but the weekend made that quite difficult. All I can say is THANK GOD the conference

is done and I can finally start to concentrate on something else.....such as babe!

I am officially 30 weeks pregnant now, which is a huge milestone for me. I have been 

waiting for this point because I know as a doula I consider this 'GO' time for my clients, 

It's when we start planning the birth and attending our appointments. So I guess that means

its 'GO' time for me now too! The only problem is, even with this conference over I 

feel like I am so busy with work that I will never have enough time to get things ready. 

Yesterday I had a bit of a melt down, one of those irrational meltdowns you always 

hear about pregnant woman having. I have been having very bad hip pain over the last

few weeks/months but I have just been pushing through it, not sleeping, working 

though the pain and just making sure I get my work done. last night I was having a

particularly hard time but still, I had to teach a fitness class. About 1/2 hour before 

class I jumped in my car to drive to work and my car was dead, in a panic I jumped 

in a cab to get there. 

The cab driver took the LONGEST way possible and when the meter was up to $20 I 

finally said something (I was beginning to panic of the price of the cab, as it was nearing 

the price I get paid for teaching). The cab driver got VERY mad at me and yelled "You 

can get out here and walk if you like", and to that I began to cry "but I'm 8 months 

pregnant!!!". With the pain in my hips the thought of walking to class was unbearable, 

then getting to class and bouncing all over the place mixed with lack of sleep put me over 

the edge, I cried the whole way to class. 

When I finally got home I confessed to my husband that I am starting to feel very 

overwhelmed by trying to keep up with my work schedule. The truth is though, everyone

keeps saying to me "take it easy", "your pregnant, you need rest", but in the very same

breath they will add something to my task list. I am so grateful to be pregnant, and so 

careful not to complain that I have just been trying to power through but its become

too much. My business partners want me to "rest" but they still need someone to 

run the finances and fertility department, The prenatal fitness studio I work for wants 

me to "take it easy" but I still need to teach 2 classes a day, My husband wants me to 

"enjoy" my pregnancy, but expects a clean house and clean laundry. And that doesn't 

even include the overnights I spend with birth clients and my own fitness schedule. 

I'm having a really hard time allowing myself to say NO to people so I can finally rest

and get ready for baby. It is time in my schedule that I really did not allot for, even 

though its the most important thing to do. Maybe I'm just working my little buns off

to make as much money now before my 'mat leave' of which I get ZERO dollars because

I am self employed, or maybe I feel like if I stop moving I will start to worry about 

what is about to happen to me. I dunno, but whatever it is I NEED to start taking care

of myself and admitting that I need a little bit of help to get through the next 2 months!

Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the start of infertility awareness week, in Canada infertility only gets a 

week but I guess we will make the best of it. I wrote a blog post on my company 

website in recognition, I would love to see what you guys think about the article. 

I know there were some key points I missed, but it was getting kinda long so at some 

point I had to stop ranting! please feel free to leave comments. 

to read click here: bebo mia blog

WARNING: baby bump photos

Ok, so I did it......I took baby bump photos......I guess I'm a bit behind at nearly 

7 months but for some reason (not sure why) I was putting it off. I couldn't get away 

from it this weekend though, I went home for a wedding and my mom followed me 

around like the paparazzi. I wanted to share a few here with my blogger friends in 

case your interested, I promise they will be few and far between but I kinda liked

these ones: 

My nephew waiting for a kick

My pregnancy dress, I have ALWAYS wanted to wear a long pregnancy dress! 

Babe is Good!

I guess I should update everyone by saying baby is good, we had a midwifery 

appointment today to confirm. Thank you all so much for your advice last Wednesday

after the fall, I was totally freaking out and it was just nice to know there was people

out there to listen. 

I ended up staying home after the fall, I drank a TON of juice and eventually the 

baby started to move a lot.....it actually didn't stop for several hours....OOPS!! 

I knew that I was to look out for contractions and bleeding so after a few hours without

these warning signs I started to feel better.....I still called my midwife just incase and she confirmed that without bleeding or contractions the fall would have hurt me much 

more then the babe, especially cause I landed on my back.

The cleaning lady has been notified to put up 'wet floor' signs, but she is sticking to her 

story that there was no one in the building when she started cleaning. That kinda pisses

me off, but to be honest I am just happy everything is ok (other then a stiff back and 

sore wrist). I was actually teaching HypnoBirthing the night of the fall, so the whole 

class had seen her cleaning, just incase I needed witnesses. 

Tomorrow I have a huge work day, then on Thursday I am heading home (Nova Scotia)

for a wedding. The bride is pregnant, and so are two of my other cousins, I can't even 

express how grateful I feel to be there with a baby bump as well. I do not know how I 

would have survived seeing all my younger cousins so quickly starting family, especially 

in the small town that I come from (gossip, gossip). I still don't look forward to all the pregnancy talk that is sure to take over the weekend, I still can't seem to wrap my head 

around all that. Its always complaining and eye rolling and "get this over with", it makes 

me want to crawl out of my skin........They don't know how lucky they are!!! 

OH well, off I go to bed, thanks again everyone for responding so fast to my last post,

I needed it! 

Cleaning Ladies are Trying to Kill Me

So, I have come to the conclusion that there are cleaning ladies trying to kill me. 

At first I was not so sure, but now I am quite convinced. 

It all started a few weeks ago when I gave up on spin class and started to go down 

to my condo gym to boogie on the elliptical. As soon as I went down there a cleaning

lady came in and thew cleaning powder on the machine next to me and began scrubbing 

away. The toxic cleaning smell was unbearable and it quickly made me feel sick....the 

mysterious cleaning substance was actually sizzling and bubbling. 

I asked her (politely) if cleaning was necessary during gym hours and pointed to my 

belly, she just shrugged and said "I cleaned all through my pregnancy". Cleaning is 

one thing, but using whatever the hell she was using is another story, there was no 

way I was going to continue huffing and puffing away next to that fog, so I got off

 the treadmill and went back upstairs. 

Since then it has become kind of a running joke between me and hubby, every time, 

and I mean EVERY TIME I go down to the gym a cleaning lady shows up shortly after

to clean. It doesn't matter what time I go down there.......she is there holding that 

can of powdery toxicity! Hubby thinks I'm over reacting, he even says I sound like a 

spoiled rich #$#%#$ when I complain. The truth of the matter is, I just want to work 

out because its good for me and the baby.....I'm not rich......and I don't use that junk 

to clean my house and I don't want to be around it. 

Thats all fine and dandy, but tonight is what really convinced me that the cleaning 

ladies of toronto are plotting against me. Tonight I was teaching a hypnobirthing class

and when we were done I locked up the room and let the class out. I decided I needed

to run to the bathroom (of course) before leaving so I walked towards the bathroom. 

Soon as I turned the corner my legs slipped right out from under me and I flew in the 

air just before landing on my back. I am sure it looked an awful lot like goofy slipping 

on a banana. At first I was more confused, but then when I looked down the hallway

I noticed the cleaning lady there just mopping away, throwing water here and there, 

with no 'wet floor' sign in sight (or any thought to the class of pregnant woman that 

was just let out).

I picked myself up on the floor, of course in a panic state over what I may have done 

to the baby. I quickly left work and drove home, wondering if I should drive myself

to triage along the way. I decided to come home and drink some juice and see if baby 

will move a little, but so far I don't feel much movement. There is no signs of anything

really going wrong just yet though, no bleeding or cramps, but I can tell you I am 

terribly worried. If baby doesn't start moving all over the place soon I may take myself

in to see how babe is. 

Anyway, thats my story............

6 month mark!

It's hard to believe that in two days I will reach the 6 month mark of this pregnancy!

I am really starting to feel an urge to get ready for the little one, but since I have no room

in my condo to 'nest' I have decided to take up knitting. I have done it before, but all 

I can really make is a scarf....which is not exactly baby friendly, so I am attempting a 

newborn hat. So far so good, I will post pictures when It is done!

The baby has been moving around quite a bit, it really has been wonderful to feel the 

movements, especially because it eases my neurotic mind. If I don't feel him/her move

for a few hours I will drink some juice and sit quietly, usually I will feel a little bit

of movement then. At around bed time it feels like little one is doing backflips or 

something, its quite a lot more movement then I was expecting at this point. 

The belly is growing, I actually look pregnant, My belly is growing forward now 

instead of just sideways, I swear I have doubled in width. My mother sent me a care

package of cute maternity clothing and I have gotten a few hand me down from friends

so I am actually better dressed now then before....its kinda nice. I feel like a baby bump

gives you a license to wear whatever the hell you want, and I like it. Maybe I will wear

a bikini for the first time in my life this summer, just cause I can! haha

As far as work goes, it has been a bit challenging to teach the fitness classes and some

of the moves I can no longer do at all. I think they are all pretty understanding because

I teach pre/postnatal fitness mostly, but I find it hard to slow down. I am thinking 

about cutting down the amount of classes I teach and doing more 'desk work' which 

may just include watching Ellen and drinking tea! I will still be attending births up 

until July, not so sure if that was a smart choice. I have a client due this week and the 

thought of leaving my house right now for an overnight birth is....well.....scary! 

Well, It has been a long time since I posted, I am thinking about my fellow bloggers all 

the time and praying for baby dust to be spread all around. I am going to spend the next

few minutes/hours reading the posts that I have missed over the last week. I hope everyone

is doing really well!!! 

Fertility Yoga

Last night was the first class of my company's new Fertility Yoga Program. It was 

something I have been creating for nearly two years and I CAN NOT tell you how 

excited I was to see if finally come together. I wanted the program to be as Mind/

Body as possible and I really think (or hope) that I have hit that mark. 

We hired a fantastic yoga teacher and an assistant for her that does massage, 

adjustments and offers alternative poses if someone is feeling uncomfortable (think

fertility drugs) . The ladies will definitely get lots of hands on 'lovin' while they are 

relaxing in different poses, especially since there are 2 teachers and we cap the class

at 6 students. The assistant is also a nutritionist so she is able to answer and talk 

about any nutrition issues the class may be having. 

We also added a therapist to the first and last class to facilitate a group therapy 

session (another part of mind/body) and the ladies in class really seemed to open 

up and talk about how they are feeling. Also included are fertility teas, essential oils, 

breath work, relaxation techniques and a journal for the full 8 weeks. I even added

some of the guided meditation work I have learned through my hypnosis training!

Squeeeeeeeeeel, I am so excited to see this start running, I really hope this can 

become a place for healing and enjoying oneself again. I think this is the biggest thing 

that was lacking in the fertility clinics, I felt like I became just a walking uterus and 

no one cared how I felt or how I struggled. I hope this class can change some of that 

and give us back our voices a little bit!!!!