Friday, June 3, 2011

Sore and a Bit Grumpy!

Last weekend was the "birth in special circumstances" conference that I have been 
planning all year. It all went off perfectly and I was SO happy to see that all our hard
work was not wasted, we had the legendary Pam England here as a guest speaker! 

I got to tell you though, spending 2 days listening to all that can go wrong in birth is NOT 
a good way to spend a weekend when your pregnant. Of course I know there are things
that can go wrong, I've seen it with my own eyes, but for the most part birth is a well 
oiled machine and works quite well. I work very VERY hard to keep a positive outlook
but the weekend made that quite difficult. All I can say is THANK GOD the conference
is done and I can finally start to concentrate on something else.....such as babe!

I am officially 30 weeks pregnant now, which is a huge milestone for me. I have been 
waiting for this point because I know as a doula I consider this 'GO' time for my clients, 
It's when we start planning the birth and attending our appointments. So I guess that means
its 'GO' time for me now too! The only problem is, even with this conference over I 
feel like I am so busy with work that I will never have enough time to get things ready. 

Yesterday I had a bit of a melt down, one of those irrational meltdowns you always 
hear about pregnant woman having. I have been having very bad hip pain over the last
few weeks/months but I have just been pushing through it, not sleeping, working 
though the pain and just making sure I get my work done. last night I was having a
particularly hard time but still, I had to teach a fitness class. About 1/2 hour before 
class I jumped in my car to drive to work and my car was dead, in a panic I jumped 
in a cab to get there. 

The cab driver took the LONGEST way possible and when the meter was up to $20 I 
finally said something (I was beginning to panic of the price of the cab, as it was nearing 
the price I get paid for teaching). The cab driver got VERY mad at me and yelled "You 
can get out here and walk if you like", and to that I began to cry "but I'm 8 months 
pregnant!!!". With the pain in my hips the thought of walking to class was unbearable, 
then getting to class and bouncing all over the place mixed with lack of sleep put me over 
the edge, I cried the whole way to class. 

When I finally got home I confessed to my husband that I am starting to feel very 
overwhelmed by trying to keep up with my work schedule. The truth is though, everyone
keeps saying to me "take it easy", "your pregnant, you need rest", but in the very same
breath they will add something to my task list. I am so grateful to be pregnant, and so 
careful not to complain that I have just been trying to power through but its become
too much. My business partners want me to "rest" but they still need someone to 
run the finances and fertility department, The prenatal fitness studio I work for wants 
me to "take it easy" but I still need to teach 2 classes a day, My husband wants me to 
"enjoy" my pregnancy, but expects a clean house and clean laundry. And that doesn't 
even include the overnights I spend with birth clients and my own fitness schedule. 

I'm having a really hard time allowing myself to say NO to people so I can finally rest
and get ready for baby. It is time in my schedule that I really did not allot for, even 
though its the most important thing to do. Maybe I'm just working my little buns off
to make as much money now before my 'mat leave' of which I get ZERO dollars because
I am self employed, or maybe I feel like if I stop moving I will start to worry about 
what is about to happen to me. I dunno, but whatever it is I NEED to start taking care
of myself and admitting that I need a little bit of help to get through the next 2 months!


  1. Yes - time to slow down, dear Tishi. Not just for you but for little babe. Hugs!

  2. I know how you feel except I don't have a physical pregnancy--but I don't get paid when I don't work and so I hate to turn anything down, even though my brain can barely focus on anything other than getting them here! Take it easy and rest my dear. Hugs to you.

  3. I agree, it's time to slow down. Maybe if you tell yourself it's for the baby, then it will make it easier to push back or decline requests. Start to create some boundaries, remove one thing from your schedule or commitments and see how good it feels, then gradually get it down to nothing. I know you can do it and will feel good when you do.

    I am so mad at that stupid taxi driver, what a jerk-off, that's no way to speak to a pregnant lady. Hugs.

  4. You do need to rest and take some time. I can't believe how much you are running around and doing at 8 months pregnant! You are Wonder Woman! But I totally get hoe hard it is to say no, especially when you have an urge to keep bringing in $$ before baby comes. I hope you can find a balance and be afforded some time to enjoy the end of this pregnancy. HUGS!

  5. Enough is enough. I know hormones play a huge part in the emotional breakdown on Thursday but at the same time it's your mind's way of saying "Time For Me"Do what you need to do to start cutting back and start enjoying the last two months of your pregnancy and your "you time", because in two months there will no longer be two at home...there will be THREE and a lot less time on your hands for YOU. Hugs

  6. I agree with the other comments- you need to slow down and relax. However I know its easier said than done. I also have a hard time saying no to poeple and tend to work, work, work! When I ended up on bedrest it all ended abruptly and the choice to slow down was no longer mine to make:)
    I hope you are able to cut something out of your busy schedule and take time for you!

  7. Yep, I reiterate what everyone has said above. You need to follow the advice you'd give your own clients -- listen to your body and your mind.

    I thought that I'd be able to push really hard in the last part of my pregnancy, or really through all of my pregnancy, but there really is a limit to what you can do. My OB was really good at reminding me of this and sharing her own stories, validating resting to me. It worked, and I am so grateful that I did go home when I needed to and nest or think or read or sleep. It's time for you to do the same Sweetie!!!

  8. Yay for 30 weeks!!! Wonderful news! But that all sounds like too much, and it's time to focus on you and baby. I know this is hard, but like other people said, try to do it while it's still optional. Hang in there!