support to get me through the days. I always assumed that once I got my BFP that my
days would be filled with nothing but happiness and excitement but to be honest not
much has changed. Of course I am happy and excited, but I dunno, I guess maybe I
expected life to just be shopping for onesies and reading through 6000 page baby name
It's kinda like when you finally reach your goal weight, for anyone who has lost a lot of
weight at one point, you will understand the analogy. About 7 years ago I lost a little under
70 pounds, I thought my life was going to be 100% better when I finally reached my goal
weight; I would get a better job, have more fun, wear better cloths. The truth is, even when
I reached my goal weight life didn't change all, I still never believed I looked good enough
to deserve all these things.
The truth was, life just kept going. Life did not stop in celebration of my weight loss, just
as life is not stopping in celebration of this pregnancy. Most days I feel like my only
thoughts are about this baby and his or her future, it consumes my every moment. It's all
I want to talk about, all I want to focus on, but for everyone else life just goes on and they
expect the same for me. I still have to work and clean and fold laundry ext. haha, I suppose
I should have expected that!
Just like with loosing weight I have a hard time believing this has actually happened for
me. Somedays I have a hard time believing this is real unless I am talking about it with
someone or writing about it, which is why I feel the need to talk so much. I feel sick a lot
which helps, but for the most part I can't feel anything or see anything, so it hard to believe
there is something the size of a lime somewhere in my belly.
I will be happy when the days of a big baby bump and kicking feet finally arrives, I hope
for my sanity that I get there soon. For now I will have to go with the flow and just
let life continue, I have been working a lot (A LOT) which makes me happy, focusing
a lot on the fertility department within my company. Next week begins the first of my
Fertility Yoga Series. I have a few woman (from my support group) signed up and I
am hoping for 2 more so that it can run. I have worked very hard on the program and
have some amazing woman working on it with me, a counselor and a nutritionist.
Fingers crossed that I get two more lovely ladies!!!