Saturday, January 22, 2011

La la la la Life goes on!

I don't have much to say in this post, these days I'm just finding that I need constant 
support to get me through the days. I always assumed that once I got my BFP that my 
days would be filled with nothing but happiness and excitement but to be honest not
much has changed. Of course I am happy and excited, but I dunno, I guess maybe I 
expected life to just be shopping for onesies and reading through 6000 page baby name

It's kinda like when you finally reach your goal weight, for anyone who has lost a lot of 
weight at one point, you will understand the analogy. About 7 years ago I lost a little under
70 pounds, I thought my life was going to be 100% better when I finally reached my goal 
weight; I would get a better job, have more fun, wear better cloths. The truth is, even when 
I reached my goal weight life didn't change all, I still never believed I looked good enough 
to deserve all these things. 

The truth was, life just kept going. Life did not stop in celebration of my weight loss, just
as life is not stopping in celebration of this pregnancy. Most days I feel like my only 
thoughts are about this baby and his or her future, it consumes my every moment. It's all
I want to talk about, all I want to focus on, but for everyone else life just goes on and they 
expect the same for me. I still have to work and clean and fold laundry ext. haha, I suppose
I should have expected that!

Just like with loosing weight I have a hard time believing this has actually happened for 
me. Somedays I have a hard time believing this is real unless I am talking about it with 
someone or writing about it, which is why I feel the need to talk so much. I feel sick a lot
which helps, but for the most part I can't feel anything or see anything, so it hard to believe
there is something the size of a lime somewhere in my belly. 

I will be happy when the days of a big baby bump and kicking feet finally arrives, I hope 
for my sanity that I get there soon. For now I will have to go with the flow and just 
let life continue, I have been working a lot (A LOT) which makes me happy, focusing 
a lot on the fertility department within my company. Next week begins the first of my 
Fertility Yoga Series. I have a few woman (from my support group) signed up and I 
am hoping for 2 more so that it can run. I have worked very hard on the program and 
have some amazing woman working on it with me, a counselor and a nutritionist. 
Fingers crossed that I get two more lovely ladies!!! 


  1. I hope that you get the enrollment to make your class run! Sign up Ladies!!!! I would SO sign up if I lived near you!

  2. Yea, I totally hear you on this post. It is weird how somethign so HUGE for you is seen as very normal for by everyone else. Life continues... at least you can rest assured that I am extremely excited for you and I know that those mundane things you have to do are different now. Enjoy!

  3. What?!? Pregnancy isn't just chillin' back and reading What-to-expect, etc.?? This is a newsflash for me. If I should be so lucky as to ever catch, I don't know how I'll handle the first 3 months without blabbing to everyone! See you at Yoga! :)

  4. Keep talking and thinking about your beautiful pregnancy right here, it just puts a big smile on my face :)

  5. I hear you! All that I want to talk about, shop for, think about, plan for etc... is for the baby but really nobody else could ever be as excited as me. Life does go on for everyone else, but it's ok if we stand still for a bit and just soak in the miracles that we both FINALLY have growing inside!!

  6. I understand your feelings as i've been through the Pregnancy journey with some people in my own lives and i remembered they were saying to me in the earlier months of their pregnancy that they could and still not belief that they are preggo!..until they tummy were like so BIG! yeah, and your regular clothes don't fit anymore and materinity clothes shopping happens. Soon you will be doing that and because i'm always around the shopping places...H&M in the Eaton centre has a cute maternity wear section and very affordable and there are many more places!

    THat is right, what i'm suggesting is start looking at pregnancy clothes! I remember seeing their "baby bumps" around the 5th month and trust me those ladies finally realized that they were really preggo!

    I guess one day if i do conceive i might be feeling like if it is unbelievable that this actually happened after trying to conceive for so long!

    hmmm i wonder if they have a pregnancy planner like a wedding planner so that you can stay focused on what will happen on the upcoming months and what needs to be done? oh wait i think i've seen something like that at Chapters! or if not they should come out with something like that.

  7. Your thoughts are relevant to all stages of IF. I'm in the middle of my 2WW and feel exactly like you do - I just want to be normal!

    Thanks for your encouraging comment re: Moxa. I feel bad that I slacked the first couple of days after transfer. I hope I didn't totally f it up.