as fast as I could to prep for my Cousin-In-Laws to come over for a BBQ.
The Fertili-TEA meeting was so lovely (and very much needed), we had lavender tea in
the coach house of a trendy little tea shop in the city. It was a bright sunny day and the
double doors of the coach house looked on to a patio full of antique tables and flowers.
There really is nothing like venting your fustrations over tea and delicious deserts,
Jelly Belly was even scored a gluten free cupcake!
Of course conversation was largely dominated by Infertility, but we always manage to
have a really great time. I am sure that from the outside we look just like any other
group of woman getting together to eat sweets and gossip the afternoon away. No one
would ever suspect that were all slowly dying on the inside (ok, so that's a bit dramatic
but it feels that way sometimes, right?)
We had 2 new joiners in the group this week and one of them has the same R.E. as me,
can you believe it? Turns out though that she has been putting up with the same &$%#
as me. For months she's been on a waiting list for a surgery that she may not even need and
thinks the Doctor is arrogant and demeaning (see, I'm not crazy). After talking with her
we both decided that our instincts were right and we were just another number being put through their "McDonnalds Style" approach to fertility treatments. The sooner I am
done with him, the better!
The BBQ with my Cousin-In-Law was also a blast, It was at a recent baby shower that we
discovered her and her hubby were also struggling to start a family. Since then she and I
have written back and forth non stop, so I decided it was time to invite them over. Again
the conversation was largely about Infertility, but really, when else can you talk openly
about sperm while BBQing? almost NEVER!! almost.
The first topic of conversation was, of course, the birth of a new baby in the family,
the birth in which we have not heard the end of for two weeks. "have you seen the
baby?" "Mama did so great, such a trooper" "you should visit them, the baby is so
sweet"...need I go on? There is even a video of the baby that my poor Cousin-In-Law
was forced to watch :(
We chatted about many other topics through the night, but we would come back to
infertility from time to time. I can't tell you how great it was to share a few drinks with
a couple who really understands, who really knows how hard it is to be ditched time and
time again because of some child related excuse, or how much it sucks to be the last one
at work because everyone else has a "family" and can't stay late. Yup, we really let it all
out, perhaps we went a bit overboard, but I think we needed a little vent.
At one point we even talked about what our lives would be like if we all decided to
remain child free. Everyone said what they would like to do if children were not in the
cards, then we bragged a little about being able to sleep in and enjoy a few drinks. The
sad part was that I couldn't think of ANYTHING I wanted to do if I had no children, but
you will be happy to know that over the last 24 hours I have come up with something.
I would go back to school to become a midwife (probably not a great choice for an
infertile, but it would be a hell of a lot easier to be a midwife without children)
I know they say that "misery loves company" and I suppose in a way this is why we
are all being brought together. To be honest though, I am really happy to have this
opportunity to get to know these people better.