Monday, July 26, 2010


It has been a while since I have posted, and a while since I have posted about anything
other then my dazzling nephew who is now gone to Germany (sniff). Today I'm going 
to talk a little about our infertility, which I suppose is the whole purpose of this blog.
I think I have been avoiding our situation for the last few months, and to tell you the
truth (don't tell anyone else) We haven't even TRIED to have a baby in 2 months because
I can no longer stomach the disappointment. Ok, so having my parents, sisters, 
nephew, and BF staying with me has made the BD nearly impossible, but I am happy
for the break. 

For the last 2 months I have been free of the two weeks waiting, I have had coffee, 
beer, good food, good company, everything I used to value before all of this IF stuff began. 
My vitamins, herbs, fertility-yoga, acupuncture have all been pushed to the back-burner
while I enjoyed my life for a little while (thats allowed right?). Its been fun, lots of fun,
but today it was back to reality with an early morning Doctor's appointment. 

As you know, for the last 3 months I have been waiting for my Laparoscopy, It had been 
scheduled for "sometime" in early June. Because I work as a doula my work schedule is very haphazard, I work when woman go into labor and there is just no way to schedule 
when that might happen. So I decided to take June/July off from births so I could have 
the surgery and not worry about missing any births. This was a huge monetary hit for us, 
but I could not risk missing the birth of a clients baby, I get way to emotionally attached 
to my families. 

Well now here it is, end of July and I have yet to have surgery, in fact I have not even 
received a phone call from the doctor's office. I called at least 5 times this month to see 
if I was booked in anywhere, but so far there has been no response. The LEAST they could 
do is call me to let me know they are backed up, ACTUALLY the least they could do is 
give me a solid date. I understand that because I live in Canada and healthcare is free that 
there may be some waiting involved, but a phone call would have been nice! 

So here I am, 2 months without pay and NO surgery, not even a date for surgery looming
in the future. Apparently I am just supposed to sit by the phone and wait for them to call
me in, really? Is this how it works? well, not for me!  Today my hubby and I met with a new
family doctor, thats right, were starting at the beginning. I am getting a new referral for 
a new surgeon and a new R.E. I am tired of this run around! This particular Family doctor
was recommended by my Hubby's Naturopath and he was more then appalled by the 
way we have been treated this far. He recommended a surgeon that should be able to get 
us a DATE for surgery, and believes that this time around we will be listened to. 

I was very happy with this appointment, although he did not know much about infertility
he listened to our struggles and validated our pain. He even said some of the things I have
been shouting to others over the last few years, such as "why are you having surgery if
the issue is Male Factor" and "Surgery, no matter what surgery, comes with risks". It 
feels like all people have been saying to me for the last year is "Just get the surgery"
easy for them to say, It's MY BELLY BUTTON that will have a camera shoved through it!

I'm not saying that I will not have the surgery, I have weighed my options and am 
eager to get this show on the road, but it was nice to hear someone validate my 
fears surrounding this surgery. Lets hope this new path I am on will lead us to more
understanding and thoughtful caregivers so that we can feel like we are part of this
process as we move forward. I can tell you, I am feeling a little bit hopeful after today!!


  1. I had a similar surgery and it really was not bad. The recovery took 3-4 days and I think I was back at work. The hardest part is figuring out what to wear, because everything rubs on your incision. Good luck with your new doc. Hopefully you can get referrals to much better doctors! Be your own advocate! Take care! And, thanks for your support on my blog today! :-)

  2. Oh I'm so happy you had a good appointment with your doctor, and hopefully your new path is a good one!

    I'm glad you've been enjoying the break. It's amazing how nice it is to get away from this frustrating path, isn't it?

  3. I, too, am staring down the barrel of a laparoscopy surgery and am suddenly getting gun-shy. (Enough with the firearm metaphor.) It's scary! My husband and I are taking two months off from IUIs, drugs, etc. Our next step is IVF, and I simply can't do it in the first two months of school - too hard! So, we're going it au natural. We deserve a break! Good luck with the new doc.

  4. Surgery is scary stuff! I have to applaud you for braving up and doing the Laparoscopy. Hey, i took 3 months off after my 2 iui's. I needed the break and i enjoyed the time off and not have to deal with the medical stuff. I think it is important to take breaks in between...I'm planning to take 2 months off after my recent IUI as well to recover.
    Let me know when your surgery is scheduled so I know how you are doing.

    Glad to hear you are feeling hopeful today! Keep up the positive spirit! Everything will work out and before you know it you'll be a mom!

  5. Wow! So happy you found a doctor who although didn't know much about IF is ACTUALLY listening to you and referring you to a new RE. I can't imagine waiting 2 months for a surgery you don't want only to have the clinc basically ignore you. Hopefully this doctor will be a much better fit.

    Glad you enjoyed your "time off" we all need it every once in awhile otherwise we'd be even crazier than we are now ;)

  6. Ugh! I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with all of this!!!! I'll show you my lap scar when I see you. It was pretty scary, but the healing process was not that bad (in comparison to my laparotomy!).

    Looking forward to seeing you soon!

  7. I will cross my fingers for you!!! Also, I'm really impressed that you are a Doula!! You are so much stronger than I could be. You are awesome for helping so many women in that way!