Rewind!

It has been a while since I have posted, and a while since I have posted about anything

other then my dazzling nephew who is now gone to Germany (sniff). Today I'm going 

to talk a little about our infertility, which I suppose is the whole purpose of this blog.

I think I have been avoiding our situation for the last few months, and to tell you the

truth (don't tell anyone else) We haven't even TRIED to have a baby in 2 months because

I can no longer stomach the disappointment. Ok, so having my parents, sisters, 

nephew, and BF staying with me has made the BD nearly impossible, but I am happy

for the break. 

For the last 2 months I have been free of the two weeks waiting, I have had coffee, 

beer, good food, good company, everything I used to value before all of this IF stuff began. 

My vitamins, herbs, fertility-yoga, acupuncture have all been pushed to the back-burner

while I enjoyed my life for a little while (thats allowed right?). Its been fun, lots of fun,

but today it was back to reality with an early morning Doctor's appointment. 

As you know, for the last 3 months I have been waiting for my Laparoscopy, It had been 

scheduled for "sometime" in early June. Because I work as a doula my work schedule is very haphazard, I work when woman go into labor and there is just no way to schedule 

when that might happen. So I decided to take June/July off from births so I could have 

the surgery and not worry about missing any births. This was a huge monetary hit for us, 

but I could not risk missing the birth of a clients baby, I get way to emotionally attached 

to my families. 

Well now here it is, end of July and I have yet to have surgery, in fact I have not even 

received a phone call from the doctor's office. I called at least 5 times this month to see 

if I was booked in anywhere, but so far there has been no response. The LEAST they could 

do is call me to let me know they are backed up, ACTUALLY the least they could do is 

give me a solid date. I understand that because I live in Canada and healthcare is free that 

there may be some waiting involved, but a phone call would have been nice! 

So here I am, 2 months without pay and NO surgery, not even a date for surgery looming

in the future. Apparently I am just supposed to sit by the phone and wait for them to call

me in, really? Is this how it works? well, not for me!  Today my hubby and I met with a new

family doctor, thats right, were starting at the beginning. I am getting a new referral for 

a new surgeon and a new R.E. I am tired of this run around! This particular Family doctor

was recommended by my Hubby's Naturopath and he was more then appalled by the 

way we have been treated this far. He recommended a surgeon that should be able to get 

us a DATE for surgery, and believes that this time around we will be listened to. 

I was very happy with this appointment, although he did not know much about infertility

he listened to our struggles and validated our pain. He even said some of the things I have

been shouting to others over the last few years, such as "why are you having surgery if

the issue is Male Factor" and "Surgery, no matter what surgery, comes with risks". It 

feels like all people have been saying to me for the last year is "Just get the surgery"

easy for them to say, It's MY BELLY BUTTON that will have a camera shoved through it!

I'm not saying that I will not have the surgery, I have weighed my options and am 

eager to get this show on the road, but it was nice to hear someone validate my 

fears surrounding this surgery. Lets hope this new path I am on will lead us to more

understanding and thoughtful caregivers so that we can feel like we are part of this

process as we move forward. I can tell you, I am feeling a little bit hopeful after today!!