Tuesday, February 16, 2010


It's been a very interesting few days!! Saturday Night was my hubby's
b-day party, Sunday was Valentines Day, Monday was Family Day and
Today was Semen Analysis Day!!

So how did I celebrate these days? Well, Saturday Night we had some 
friends over to eat KFC and drink wine. Doesn't sound special I know, 
but to a guy who has given up nearly everything to increase his sperm 
counts, it was a big birthday treat!! We also played board games and 
watched the olympics, so overall it was a great night. 

For Valentines day we did nothing but sit and play video games, well, 
he played the games I read more business books (I'm slightly obsessed). 
We also went to his parents house for dinner where after hearing the 
news of our IF his grandmother blessed his swimmers! I wish I had 
video taped that for your viewing but hopefully you can use your 

On "Family Day" I thought I would spend the day at an IVF rally. 
It was sad enough to be at an IVF rally on a holiday designed to give
you more time with your family, but to do it by yourself was even 
worse. My DH did not want to go, for fear of being seen on Television, 
which is understandable. It was actually a great rally, A few woman 
went up and told their stories then a doctor went on to explain why 
IVF should be government funded here in Ontario (like it is in the 
provinces east AND west of us). It was very touching and informative, 
I'm glad I went and I am really hoping funding for 3 rounds of IVF 
will be added to the Ontario budget in March.

For Semen Analysis day we did just that, DH "collected" his sample
while I waited in the car and we zipped up to the R.E. office. Today 
for the first time I noticed the CUP that holds the precious swimmers
says SPERMOGRAMME, haha, I would have loved for DH to show up 
at the office and say "SPERMOGRAMME FOR DR.K" tehe. 

Anyhow, this is when things went terribly wrong! DH asked 
the receptionist when he would get the results, to which she replied
"well now that you have done the sample and your wife has done the
laparoscopy we will set up your next meeting to talk IVF"

DH: "But my wife has not had the surgery, she refused it"

And thats when &#%$ hit the fan, he had to call me up from 
my car to explain to her what I had done. I let her know that until 
they are able to properly explain to me the benefits and risks of the 
surgery I will not be doing it. She then preceded to SCOLD me about
my stupid decision and let me know it would be MONTHS before
I could get another appointment with the surgeon. I said that was 
fine, because I DON'T WANT THE SURGERY!!

Up until now NO ONE has told me anything about the surgery, they 
just EXPECT me to do it. I would like a little more information, I mean, 
the only reason I know that endo grows back around 6 months after 
surgery is because I researched it. It doesn't make sense for me to have 
surgery NOW if we do not have the money for IVF right now (or even
 know if thats the right route for us). 

From my understanding, if I was to have the surgery now, I would have
to have it again by the time we were ready for IVF. I really think he 
was trying to get me to "BLINDLY" have the surgery and then say 
"well you need to do IVF within the next 6 months or your chances
go down...bla bla bla"

I don't know, maybe I'm being too "suspicious", maybe I should just
listen to the R.E. after all he is the expert, but I would just like to 
have SOME information before making decisions. Maybe some kind
of timeline? anything to make me feel like I even MATTER in this

Ok, I seem to have written too much, but if any of you out there have
some advice for me, I would LOVE to hear it!!


  1. I love the image of your husband's grandmother blessing his swimmers.

    That's much better than the Nurse Ratched vision I'm having of the receptionist. Did you ever get an answer on when you should get the results from the SA? Those results should have nothing to do with your going ahead with surgery or not. (insert eye roll at pseudo-bureaucratic crap)

  2. Yikes! That kind of pressure would raise some red flags for me. I don't blame you a bit for wanting a lot more information before proceeding. I'm concerned that they are pressuring you like this. It's almost seems like they have a checklist of things they do for each IF patient and surgery is on the list. You've already got a diagnosis of MFI, so I don't get why your doctor would be pushing you to have surgery.

    I have endo and didn't have surgery to remove it (except an endometrioma that was "suspicious" for cancer). My symptoms have increased, but I'm not going to consider surgery until we are done with treatments entirely. I'm very weary of having my remaining ovary damaged by surgery. My own RE recommends against having a lap unless it is used for symptom control. And yes, it does grow back, because the process causing the endo in the first place isn't fixed. And it doesn't take long to come back. To me it seems like it could be an endless cycle.

    You do matter in this process! Your RE may be an expert, but we have to be our own advocates for what is best for us. If you don't feel 100% comfortable, then I think you shouldn't do it.

    Good luck with your DH's sample. Maybe all those vitamins/beerless nights will do the trick. Take care.

  3. Can his grandma come and bless my DH's swimmers!?! That is too funny!

    I can't believe they are trying to pressure you into having the surgery. it is your body! Oh some Dr's. Well hopefully IVF will be covered soon and you can more in the right direction.

  4. I agree with the other ladies, I think you need to maybe seek a second opinion. I also had a difficult run in with a obs/gyno referred to me by my RE back in September. He basically said to me that i had a large fibroid and i had only 2 options to operate or do nothing. He didn't care that i still wanted to have kids etc. My DH asked him some questions and he already opened the door and indicated that it was time for us to leave. So, I seeked another obs/gyno for a second opinon. long story short my stupid RE did not readily help me get the referral to see this other ob/gyno and i had to deal with his ignorant stupid secretary..which by the way i had to yell at her as she kept persisting that i already have an ob/gyno with them why do i need to be referred to see another one..well i told her this is my body and will she be responsible if anything happens to me... so on the same day i got my referral to the new ob/gyno..met with him back in nov 2009, he is absolutely an angel! he is also taking care of my IUI treatments..which by the way initially he mentioned that i do IVF but with further testing etc he said lets do IUI as it is less invasive and less expensive. My new ob/gyno also said with my fibroid the best thing to do is quickly help me get pregnant (fingers crossed) and than take it out when i deliver my baby. He said it is better than cutting into the uterus now and making it harder later to do any of the iui or ivf. He dosen't agree with the others doctors out there who likes to just operate on you right away.

    Basically, i think with that kind of crappy treatment you and your hubby got you need to seek other ivf clincs/ another RE what ever it takes to find the best suitable doctor who can at least show some EMPATHY! good luck..oh btw i hate surgery but i didn't find myself crazy when i decided to seek a better doctor who thought like me. Take care!
    and great that his greatmother bless your DH's swimmers! Best of luck with everything!

  5. I went through similar experience when we went to a conventional fertility clinic, although it wasn't surgery that was being pushed, it was IVF ASAP.

    I definitely think that you should go to the Marguerite Bourgeoys Family Centre. They can help you more holistically and they will have your overall fertility health in mind. I don't know if I will ever conceive, but I know that my body will be healthy for the rest of my life. AND they will not push IVF on you, ever!

  6. Expecting them to explain the risks and benefits of the surgery is NOT too much to ask. In my opinion, it is the bare minimum of what they should offer you! Your reasons for not wanting the surgery sound reasonable and well thought out. I'm totally behind you!